Silent but screaming
by Brittanaendgames
Summary: Brittana is all grown up and co-owners of a preforming arts school with several members of the New Directions. But what happens when a new member comes into their family who is silent but screaming at the same time. Warning: many triggers for drugs, self hate and sexual assault. Please read with caution.
1. Chapter 1

They met when they were six years old and in the first grade. That very first day the bubbly blonde sat down next to the feisty Latina and they were forever best friends. Santana was new at the school, her parents had just moved to Lima because her father got a better job at the local hospital and her mother become the local attorney as before her the small town didn't have one. Brittney's mom stayed at home with her and her little sister Emily who was just a few months at the time. Brittney's dad owned the local drug store that his dad left him.

The two girls that first day would not leave each other sides. Santana felt safe with Brittney by her side. Britt was already popular and Santana wanted to be well liked. Britt on the other hand knew from the first moment she saw Santana that they would always be best friends. There was just something about her, something that tied them together.

When they were ten they had their first kiss. Britt had fallen off her bike and somehow had gotten a cut on her lip. Neither one is still sure how she did that, but Santana without a second thought leaned in and kiss it better just like she always did. Soon after that first kiss San told Britt that they were just practicing for when they would start kissing boys.

The summer before their freshman year a rumor that one of the male cheerleaders from another school was going to have sex with Britt. Santana heard the rumor and went and found Britt. Santana told Britt that they should practice together. Britt knew then that it was more than just practice. That first time they had sex together it was not just sex, they made love to each other.

It took Santana until the next school year to tell Britt that it was love. But, Britt had already been hurt by Santana. She turned her down; she walked away and went back to her current boyfriend Artie. Their senior year they got together and life was perfect. Well, it was perfect until Finn ruined it. When Santana's secret was out, Britt spent every minute of every day worried about the love of her life. Santana was the only thing that mattered to her. Britt's grades went from bad to worse and because of it she didn't graduate.

A few months into Britt's second senior year Santana broke up with her, they were both so unhappy and it killed them to see each other like that. Britt started dating Sam. It killed Santana and she wanted nothing more than to get Britt back. Britt only dated Sam because she knew that Santana wanted her to be happy, so she tried she really tried to be happy with Sam. But she wasn't, she wanted her girlfriend back. That's why when she was asked to leave high school and go to MIT she broke up with Sam without even a second thought.

Britt only lasted a few months at MIT, before she started to hate it. She hated feeling stupid, which is how she felt there. One weekend she went to New York to watch Rachel in Funny Girl. They all went out dancing and she was spotted by a scouting agent. She left MIT and moved to New York. The rest as they say is history.

They are now twenty eight and got married five years ago. They are living in southern California not far from LA. They co-own a performing arts school with Rachel, Quinn, Mercedes, Sam, Tina, Mike and Artie. The school is for grade k-12 and is very well known. Half of every school day is for regular academics and the other half is used for the arts. They teach all aspects of it; from directing and producing to acting, singing and dancing. They accept all students, regardless of their skill level.

Today being a sunny May Saturday, Santana and Brittany Lopez-Pierce sit on their living room floor watching their two and a half year old twins run about like crazy people. They are waiting for the Berry-Fabray's to come over for a BBQ. Noah runs over to Santana and plops down into her lap.

"Hola, Mijo. Are you having fun?" Santana asks her son, who is named after her ex-boyfriend and longtime friend who passed away while serving in the army. Puck as they all knew him joined the army a year after high school. He is also the biological father of the twins. Before he left to go to Iraq, he donated sperm for the girls. When Santana got the call of his death, Brittany who was 9 months pregnant went into labor. Noah and his sister Lucy were born late that night.

"Si, Mama," Noah says back to her. San leans down and kisses him on his temple. "Mama don't mess up my hair." The young mohawked boy jumped up off his Mama's lap to chase his sister.

"He is so much like Puck it scares me." Santana says to her wife. They share a smile thinking of the father of their children and their dear friend. Santana frowns a little. It is still very hard for her to think or talk about her lost lesbro.

Britt doesn't say anything and instead crawls on her hands and knees to her wife. As she gets closer, Santana starts to smile. Brittany gets to her and starts to attack her sides with her fingers. Lucy runs back into the living room from the play room, and San yells out to her blonde daughter, "Lucy get mommy. Help me!"

Lucy jumps on Britts back and starts tickling all over Britt. It doesn't take long for Noah to come running in, but he has tears in his eyes. The three girls are too busy with their tickle war to notice him and the large wet spot in his shorts. Noah stands off to the side trying hard not to cry.

Britt looks over and sees him and the wet spot. Lucy has been potty trained for almost a year now, but Noah still has an accident at least twice a week.

"Noah?" Britt asks. The other two girls stop their tickle war and look over to Noah who is now bright red in embarrassment and has let a few tears fall.

"I sorry Mommy," more tears come flooding out. Santana and Brittany share a look, and have a silent conversation. They talk with just their eyes, and with a final nod, Santana stands up and takes her son by the hand.

"Come on buddy, lets get you cleaned up," Santana says as they walk up the stairs to the bathroom he shares with his sister. Noah walks next to his mama still slightly crying as they enter the bathroom. "Noah, would you like to take a shower or bath? We need to hurry as Auntie Q and Auntie Rachel are coming over soon for dinner." Santana looks at her son, who is still crying and doesn't answer. "Noah!" Santana says with a little more force.

Noah looks up at her, "Shower. I do it."

"Okay." Santana says as she starts to turn on the water to make sure it's the right temperature. "Noah, when you are done turn the water off, I will bring your monkey towel in and set it on the rack. You need to dry off and come into your room. I will lay your clothes out okay? I'm gonna pick up your toys in your room and sissy's okay?"

Noah nods at her. "I big boy. I know."

Santana smiles at her son and walks out of the bathroom, leaving the door open so that she can hear and see him from his room across the hall.

Downstairs, Brittany and Lucy are in the kitchen getting things ready for dinner. They are going to BBQ kababs, so Britt is cutting up some steak and chicken cubes, as well as several different vegetables. Lucy is using a mushrooms brush to clean the mushrooms, while standing on her stool. There is a knock on the door. Britt, places the knife into the sink and quickly washes her hands, drying them on her jeans.

"Come on Lucy, I bet it's Auntie Q, Auntie Rach, Isabella and Chance." Britt says taking the young girls hand as they both skip the front door.

Britt peeks through the front window and sees the young family, much like her own. She opens the door, and the angry teen Isabella storms past her.

"Bella, you could at least say hello," Rachel scolds as she enters the house. She gets no reply from the fourteen year old who already has her ear phones in and is sulking on the couch. Rachel looks at Britt and smiles, "Hi Britt. Thanks for having us, its been one of those days." Rachel walks in and puts the pasta salad into the fridge.

"Hi, Auntie Britt," Quinn says in a baby voice waving her six month year old sons hand. "I'm happy to be here," she continues.

"Hi little guy, come here," Britt quickly takes the baby from Quinn as Lucy jumps into her godmothers arms.

"Hi baby Lucy. How are you pretty girl?" Quinn asks her god-daughter.

"Good. I love you." Lucy, who has always loved Quinn says as she snuggles into her god-mothers chest.

"Bella is sad. You should go get Noah and take her outside to play," Quinn whispers in her ear. Lucy smiles huge and wiggles to be put down. She goes running up the stairs to find her brother.

Santana who is now back in the bathroom helping Noah finish styling his hair. "Now Noah, if you need to go potty you have to stop playing and go to the bathroom buddy. I know you want to start going to pre-school when you turn three, so you need to be able to use the potty okay?" She watches him in the mirror as he nods his head.

"Momma?" He asks turning to look at her.

"Yes baby."

"Can I keep my hair like Uncle Pucks when I go to school?"

"Yes, you can keep Uncle Puck hair as long as you want."

"Noah, Noah Auntie Q said we have to cheer up Bella," Lucy says as she runs into the bathroom. Lucy grabs Noah's hand and they run out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

"BELLA!" Noah yells as he jumps into her lap. "Bella, can we can play! PLEASE can we go play?"

Bella, shoots the look of death at her blonde mother. Santana who has just came down the stairs sees it and walks over to the girl. "Up, now!" Bella glares at her but know not to mess with Auntie Tana. Since Bella still has not stood up, San leans down and grabs the girl by the ear and drags her out the back door. Once in the back yard, Santana leans in and hugs her niece. "Listen to me Bella. I know your life is hard. I know a lot is going on for you right now, your moms are worried and that's why they want you to go to therapy." Santana pulls out of the hug and looks at her niece who has now crossed her arms over her chest exactly like she used to do at that age.

"But Auntie its not fair. They are not my moms, neither of them. Why did they tell me on my birthday? It's not fair Auntie!" Bella says as she lets tears come pouring out of her eyes. "I love them, I do. They are the only parents I have ever known, but now they have Chance and he is theirs. I mean, he is blood related to Mom Q. I'm not."

Santana looks up to her niece, who is almost six foot tall. "Oh, honey. Your mothers took you in as a foster child when you were only two weeks old. They fell in love with you, and fought to adopt you when your biological mother passed away a year after. They love you and always will." Santana smiles at the girl who smiles back. "I know this is hard. I know you are upset but you need to talk to them, not push them away. Now your cousins are dying to play with you, so lets go."

Both walk back into the house, where Britt and Rachel have just finished cutting everything and are about to take them to the table for everyone to make their own. Bella walks over to Rachel who was washing her hands at the sink. Rachel is taken aback, when Bella wraps her arms around her mother from behind. Rachel turns in the hug and holds the girl.

"I'm sorry Mom R, I will go," Bella says as tears fall from both their eyes. After telling the teen the truth a week ago, everyday has been a battle. Neither Rach nor Q has gotten a hug from their daughter the entire week. They stay in the embrace for a few minutes. Quinn comes around the corner and sees it smiling at her wife. "Can I help with dinner?" Bella says as she pulls out of the hug.

"I'm happy to hear that Bell. You know, your mother and I will always love you. We just wanted you to know the truth. We didn't want you to find out on your own like I did." Rachel pauses as her eyes brim with more tears. "We love you too much to let you go through this on your own." Bella nods.

Shortly after the whole group is standing around the table, loading their kababs with what they want to eat. Rachel, of course has no meat, Santana on the other hand as all meat. Brittany looks over at her wife's stick, and shakes her head.

"Noah, Lucy look at Mama kabab, is she following the rules?" Britt said with a smirk in place. The household rule is you have to eat at least half vegetables. Santana hates that rule.

Noah looks over with Santana's HBIC scowl in places as does Lucy, both twins say together, "Mama, you have to eat veggies. Fix it."

Everyone starts laughing as the twins grab an extra stick and start filling it with just veggies. Santana shakes her head and looks at her wife. Five years ago, she would have thrown a fit, but being a wife and mother now has calmed her down.

Quinn looks over at her best friend in the world and smiles with pride. Quinn thinks back to five years ago when Santana called her crying because Britt broke up with her. Britt had enough of San throwing fits of rage. That day Santana and Britt where watching Bella and had taken her to the park. Another little girl had push Bella down because Bella didn't want to share like always. Santana got up and was going all Snix on this 9 year old girl and Britt had enough. Yes, Santana had always been this sweet girl on the inside but she never showed it to anyone but Britt and Quinn at times. Santana stayed with the Berry-Fabray's for six weeks. During those six weeks, Quinn got Santana to go to therapy. Finally, Britt came over for dinner and Santana left with her. Santana called the next day saying they were going to get married. Quinn is so proud of her friend, who now only lets Snix out if it is absolutely necessary, and even then it only lasts a few minutes at most.

Quinn comes out of her memories when Chance starts crying from the playpin in the other room. "I got him," Quinn says as she heads into the living room.

When everyone was done putting together their kababs Britt put them on the grill. Bella was playing tag with the twins, which is more like Bella, chases them and they laugh and try to hide. Santana is sitting in a lawn chair watching. Rachel and Quinn are cuddled up on the hammock with Chase reading him a story.

"_I'm so lucky. I mean look at my family. I have the best friends in the world. A smart and caring niece, a nephew who I just want to cuddle all day. I have two beautiful and healthy children who I would die for. I also have the most amazing wife and mother of my children a person can ask for," Santana_ thinks as she drinks her ice tea. The doorbell ringing brings her out of her thoughts.

"I'll get it," Santana says as she stands from her seat. She walks toward the door. _Who could it be? We are not expecting anyone else. _She looks through the window and sees Barbara Snow who is a social worker. You see Britt wanted to do something meaningful after the school became successful, so she and Santana became foster parents. They have taken in several children over the years, but none for more than a few months. Since the twins they have not taken in any children, but are still on the list of foster parents.

Santana opens the door, "Barbara hi. Long time no see, please come in." She opens the door further as the older lady with grey hair walks in.

"Yes, I know. Since you guys have twins we have moved you down our list. You know how hard it is on foster kids when there are young children in the house. But, I have a favor to ask of you," Barbara says as she sits on the couch with Santana.

"Anything, Britt and I have been thinking we should call you and get moved back up the list. The twins are almost three and you know we both love being foster parents, Britt loves giving back, and trying to make their lives just a little better," Santana says smiling at the woman.

"Oh, hi Barb," Britt says as she walks into the room. "What do we owe this pleasure? Please tell me you have a child for us. We were just talking about calling you last night." Britt sits down next to Santana and takes her hand.

"Yes, I do. I have a girl she is fourteen. She has had a hard life. I have seen a lot of children with hard lives but hers is beyond all of them. You see her parents were killed when she was just a toddler. She was taken in by her god-father. About a year ago, he was killed in a drug bust at the house; she was there and was passed out after an overdose. She went to rehab for three months and since then has been kicked out of each foster home within 2 months. She refuses to talk," Barb looks down as she continues. "She has not said a word in a year. She writes, but will not let anyone look at it. She also sings when she thinks no one can hear her." Barb looks up at the couple. "I don't know what else to do, but I think the two of you might be able to get through to her. I know I'm asking a lot to take in a teenager with the past she has, but I really am out of options."

Brittney looks over at Santana and the two share a look. It only takes them a moment to come up with an answer. "Yes, of course we will take her in," Britt says still looking at Santana.

"Thank you, thank you both. I will bring her over in the morning. Her name is Elizabeth but she goes by Lizzie. Is ten okay?" Barb says and stands waiting for an answer.

"Yes, ten sounds perfect," Britt says showing Barb to the door. "And Barb just like all the other times, we do not want any money."

"Are you sure?" Barb asks just like every other time. Britt just nods at her.

Britt closes the door and looks over at her wife who has tears in the corners of her eyes. Britt frowns not knowing why her wife is sad. Santana looks up at her. "I'm okay. It's just, why are some people so horrible. To kick this child out, she doesn't speak. Why is this world so bad, Britt?"

Brittney walks over and straddles her wife's lap. She moves the hair that hiding her wife's perfect face behind her ear. Britt leans forward till their foreheads are touching. Britt lifts San's chin till she is looking her in the eyes. "I love you San and I love that you are sweet and caring. We will love Lizzie and do everything we can to help her in any and every way. Now kiss me."

Santana smiles and leans into the slow kiss. It is not meant to be sexual, but to connect them. The kiss does not last long. San breaks the kiss and looks into her wife's eyes. "I love you Britt. Now let's go eat and share the news with our friends and family."

The couple walks out back just as Rachel is putting the last of the kababs on the table, where Quinn has set the table and brought the pasta salad in from the fridge. The twins are already sitting in their seats on either side of Bella, who looks exhausted to say the least. The couple sits down without saying a word. Rachel who had looked in the living room and saw Barb, knew that something is up, had come back and told Quinn, gives a small smile to her own wife.

Everyone gets their food and is eating happily. Britt squeezes her wife's knee telling her it's time to speak up. Santana looks over at Britt and then places her fork down. "Hey guys, we have something that we want to tell you guys." She takes her time and looks at Noah and Lucy who are looking at her with huge smiles on their faces. She knows what she is about to say is going to change their lives, hopefully for the better. "So, umm Barb came and asked Britt and I to take care of another child. You see her name is Elizabeth but most people call her Lizzie. She is fourteen, the same age as Bella." Santana takes moment to look around at all the faces. She is not sure how much she should tell them. She's not sure how much the twins will understand. "Lizzie will be staying with us for a long time. She has a hard time talking to people. So we all need to be very nice to her okay?"

"Is she gonna be our new sissy? I want a sissy?" Lucy asks looking at her momma.

"Maybe, baby. But for right now, she is just going to be our new friend okay?" Britt says.

Lucy and Noah seem pleased with that and have both finished their food. "Can sissy and I go color Lizzie pictures?" Noah asks. Santana nods at them and the twins go of running to the playroom.

"I will go with them," Bella says as she takes her and the twin's plates to the kitchen.

The four women stay out on the patio where Santana and Britt fill Rachel and Quinn in on all the details. They made plans for the twins to spend the next day with Rachel and Quinn so that Santana and Britt can take Lezzie to get things for her room. They don't want to overwhelm the girl. The Berry-Fabray's will bring the twins back at dinner time, where they will also stay and eat.

That night Santana and Britt tuck their children in to bed and then clean the guest room that will serve as Lizzie's room. They finally crawl into bed at one am. They held each other tight all night, knowing they are about to start a whole new journey.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes things happen in your life that you just want to forget but can't. Your body, your mind, they don't let you. You're stuck. You're stuck in this constant battle within yourself. You don't know how to be. How to act? How do anything but live each minute of every day in a contest battle not to take the easy road out.

Elizabeth Brown knows these feelings all too well but she also knows that committing suicide is not the easy road out. In fact for some people, some people like her it's the only answer. It's the only way to escape the horror which is her own mind. She has tried to commit more times than she is even willing to think about. She has tried it all, but for some unknown reason she is still alive.

She is damaged. She can't even think about the things she has gone through. Instead she keeps herself closed off, closed off to everything and everyone. She not felt an emotion in years, she can't even recall how many anymore.

Here she sits in the kitchen of her social worker. After being thrown out of her last foster home last week, she has been staying here. She like Barb, the woman seems to actually care about her. This is a new social worker for her; she just got transferred to her two weeks ago. She has had 4 social workers in the last year. Barb has told her that she found her an amazing foster family.

Barb set the bowl of Cheerios in front of Lizzie and was talking but Lizzie wasn't listening. All Lizzie could think about was this family she was going to go ruin. She's used to it now. She's used to any good family turning her down at first sight. Many families refuse her because she will not talk.

"_I just don't have anything to say. If these people ever just let me be maybe just maybe I would find a way to be okay. They don't know me, or what happened to me everyday. They think I haven't talked in a year, but I haven't talked in years."_ Lizzie thinks as she sits and eats the cereal.

The sun hitting her in the face from the small gap between the curtains wakes the blonde up. She reaches her hand out to feel for her wife, she searches and searches but when she can't find her she opens her eyes. Santana is not in bed with her. The bed is cold in her spot so she has been up for a while. Brittney sits up and stretches her arms above her head and then stands up from the bed. She walks out their bedroom and sees her wife standing in the doorway of Noah's room with tears in her eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Britt says walking up to her and wrapping her arms around her from behind.

"I just miss Puck. I miss him everyday," Santana says as she turns in her wives arms and snuggles her face into her wife. Britt starts rubbing her back and whispering sweet words into her ear. They stay there embracing each other for what seems like hours but really is just a few minutes.

Lucy coming out of her room, blanky in tow breaks the couple's embrace. "Hola, mija." Santana says picking up the little girl. "How did you sleep love?" Lucy didn't say anything but instead snuggled in closer to her mama.

Britt gets huge smile on her face watching her daughter snuggle with her wife, she starts bouncing on her toes as a great idea crosses her mind, "Lucy why don't you and mama wake up brother and I will go get stuff together to make a breakfast pizza?"

Lucy wiggles for Santana to put her down. Santana does and watches as Lucy runs and jumps on Noah's bed. "Noah Noah wake up! Mommy said we can have breakfast pizza!"

Britt smiles at her wife, "I love you baby. I'm gonna go get stuff out and started." Santana smiles and watches as the love of her life and the sexiest woman on the planet walk to the stairs. Britt turns and blows her a kiss before walking down.

Santana walks into Noah's room and grabs Lucy who is now hitting her brother with a pillow. Noah much like Puck and herself is not a morning person. Santana sits down on his bed with Lucy in her lap and rubs Noah's back. "Come on buddy let's get up. Mommy is going to get ready to make breakfast pizza and then you and sissy are going to spend the day with Aunties Rachel and Quinn and Bella. Then tonight when they bring you back Lizzie will be here."

This got Noah to sit up and literally jump out of bed, and then he was gone. Lucy was next running after her brother. Santana sat there for a moment. She looked around his room and the picture on wall of Puck in his army uniform caught her eye. She walked over to where it hangs. She reaches up and runs her finger over his face, "You would be so proud of them Puck. They have the best of you and the best of Britt. They have the best of the two most important people I have ever known. I miss you, but I know you watch over us. Please Puck, help me help Lizzie. I can't do it without you."

"Mama?" Lucy says walking into the room. "Mama, you okay?"

Santana kneels down in front of her and takes her hands. "I am baby. I just miss Uncle Puck a lot."

Lucy looks her mama over, her brows crunching up just like the woman before her. Lucy takes her mamas hand in her own. "Come on mama, I want to show you."

Santana confused as to where her daughter is taking her stands up and follows behind her. Lucy takes her mama into Santana and Brittney's room. But not just into the room but to the picture of the Glee club after they won nationals. Lucy raises her arms to be picked up and Santana does just that. "Mama, if you sad remember this. Remember singing with Uncle Puck. He so handsome." Lucy's little hand reaches out and her fingers run over the picture. She stops when she gets to Puck. "Noah looks like him, do I?"

Santana looks at the little blonde girl in her arms with blue eyes just like her wife, but with tan skin much like her own and Pucks. "Yes, baby you do."

"San, baby come on I need help with toppings!" Britt yells from the bottom of the stairs.

Lucy screams right in Santana's ear, "Let's go! Don't let Noah do it all!" And off Santana goes, running down the stairs with a giggling Lucy in her arms, she slides across the hardwood floors of the living room. Britt who could hear Lucy and Santana laughing peaks around the corner and watches as Santana with Lucy in her arms comes flying into the kitchen.

Britt and Noah both look at them like they are crazy. Santana sits Lucy into her chair and Santana takes her own.

There is a knock on the door and Santana looks up to Britt, it's only 8 and Quinn should not be over to pick up the twins for another hour. Britt smiles, "I sent a text to Rach and asked if they wanted breakfast pizza." Santana smiles at her wife and stands up to go answer the door.

At 9:30am the twins were gone with their Aunties and cousins and Britt and Santana sit in their living room waiting, waiting for their lives to again be changed.

Britt looks over to her wife who is picking at her nails, just like when she was in high school. She has not seen her wife this nervous in a really long time. Even when they brought the twins home Santana stayed composed. "Baby, what's bothering you?"

"Nothing," Santana says quietly back to her wife. There was no bite to it, no feisty Latin roots coming through. Santana doesn't look up she just keeps picking at her nails. She pauses when milky hands cover her own. She knows Britt didn't buy it and she needs to talk. "I'm scared," she says quietly but still looks down. "I'm not in the best place mentally right now Britt maybe this was a bad idea. We have been so busy with the twins and at the school, I-I-I've never grieved about losing Puck. And-and now we have this girl who…" She trails off as the doorbell rings. The couple shares a look saying that they will talk latter.

Britt stands and takes her wives hand as they walk to the door. Britt leans in to her wife and kisses her cheek and whispers in her ear, "I know you never did, but it's time for me to be strong for the both of us. You take care of you, okay? I got the kids."

It was exactly what Santana needed to hear. She needed to know that her wife would take control that her wife was going to be strong for both of them. Santana grabs the door handle and opens the door to Barb and Lizzie.

Barb left after only a few minutes. She explained that Lizzie was taking online classes since she still refused to talk. She also gave the couple the number to the teen's therapist who she had been seeing for the last month. The entire time that the adults talked Lizzie just sat there not looking at anyone or anything, just staring at her hands.

Britt closed the door and took a deep breath before turning with a huge smile on her face. "Okay, so Lizzie let's take your bags up to your room. Santana and I are going to take you to the store to pick out stuff for your room and anything else you may want." Britt without waiting for the girl or her wife to move picked up the large duffle bag (the only thing the girl had except her backpack) and started up the stairs.

Santana looked over at the girl who still sat in the same place. She took this moment to take in the girl's appearance. She wore jeans, nothing fancy at all. A dark color and not name brand, they had stains on them, they were not baggy but not tight either. She wore a black baggy hoddie, the hoddie also looked old and also had several small stains. The girl's shoes looked like chucks, but were not, they also were an off brand. Lizzie herself was tall; Santana figured she was about the height of Bella, maybe a little shorter, taller than her wife for sure. Maybe 5 feet 11 inches? She had dark brown hair with redish highlights that looked natural. Santana guesses that they are. The girl looked scared and skinny, much to skinny. Beyond that Santana could see the large black bags under the girls eyes, she looked like she had not slept in days, weeks, months maybe years?

Lizzie finally stood after a few minutes and turned towards Santana. She didn't look up from the floor, but Santana could tell that the girl wanted to be shown where her room was. Santana stood and without saying a word walked up the stairs to the guest room where Britt was waiting. She walked in the room and saw her wife sitting on the floor, clothes all around her and tears streaming down her face.

Lizzie walked past Santana and started picking up the clothes, folding them and putting them back into the bag. Britt didn't say anything and helped the girl. Soon the clothes all in different phases of distress, all with stains, some with cigarette burns, others with holes, some looked like they hadn't been washed ever. Santana who hadn't moved from the door watched as her wife and this girl who she was now responsible for re-packed the bag. Something in Santana made her move. She walked over and grabbed the bag from Lizzie and walked out of the room. She didn't stop or let go as Lizzie chased after her trying to grab the bag. She couldn't hear her wife as Britt pleaded with her. Santana made it out the house and to the garbage can. She threw the bag in and turned to face the two behind her.

"Lizzie," Santana started looking into dark scared eyes. "Go with Britt back upstairs and pick out an outfit from our closet. Then take a shower okay? When you're done we have a lot of shopping to do." Santana said before walking slowly back into the house.

Britt, places her hand on Lizzie's back and the girl moves away from the touch but follows when the blonde nods and walks toward the house.

Lizzie stood in the large bathroom that is attached to her room. She looks in the mirror, tears streaming down her face. She hasn't cried since she was little. But there is something about today, something about this house and these people that have let emotions come out of her. She looks down at the name brand jeans, t-shirt and hoddie that lay on the counter.

"_I can't believe she threw everything I have out. I mean how rude, but she seems like someone I shouldn't mess with. There is just something about her, something that makes me feel I don't know. Safe? Is this what safe feels like? I have never felt it." _Lizzie thinks as she contuines to look at herself in the mirror.

Ten minutes after going upstairs Britt comes back down to see her wife making a list sitting at the kitchen table. Britt smiles a little to herself. To see her wife, do what she does and that's take charge and takes care of people.

Santana sees Britt out of the corner of her eyes, "Babe, did she pick out something to wear?" Santana says with a worried tone.

"Yeah she did," Britt smiles at her and walks behind her and starts rubbing her shoulders. "Baby, you have to calm down okay? I know you want to solve it all today, but we can't. Honey, you know better than me that you can't fix other people, all you can do is stand by them and help them along. And honey, that's what we are going to do okay?"

Santana drops her pen and turns a little so she can look at her wife, "I know love. But that girl up there, there is something, something about her. Britt, she has this fear in her eyes. I-I-I've never seen that kind of fear before."

"I know, but we have known her for less than an hour babe. Give her time okay. I know what you are thinking, okay? I know you. I know you want to make this a fresh start for her, and baby it is. So what's on your list?" Britt sits down next to her wife and looks over the list and adds a few things.

"Cell phone and I-pod?" Santana asks looking at her wife.

Britt just nods as she adds laptop to the list. She smiles at her wife. "What can't I spoil her too?"

Santana just smiles at her and leans in to kiss her wife.

Lizzie who had just come down the stairs sees the two kiss, she smiles just a little. She quietly stands there trying not to look but can't look away. _"I have never seen two people kiss like that. Sure I've seen people kiss, but they look so in love. Every house I have ever been in has been full of fighting. I can't believe they threw all my stuff out. I've had that stuff for years, and most of it I stole. I might just like it here." _ Santana looking over at her brings her out of her thoughts.

"You ready?" Santana asks. Lizzie nods. "You don't want some shorts or a tank top or something? I mean it's going to be in the 90's today?" Lizzie shakes her head no. "Okay, let's go. You hungry?"

Lizzie is not sure what to say. No family has ever treated her so welcome on the first day like this. Most families only take her in because of the money; they get more because of her issues. But, when Barb told her that this family refused the money she knew they were different. This feels like a fresh start instead of a continuation of the same nightmare.

They sit in a small family diner. Lizzie hated restaurants; in fact she hadn't been in one in years, not since him. Since Santana wasn't sure if the girl would order anything, Santana did the ordering and order half the menu.

"Okay so Lizzie, while we wait for the food, look over the list of things we are going to get today and add anything you might want." Britt says holding out the list and a pen for the girl to take from across the table.

Lizzie just looks at the table. When she doesn't take the list that Britt is holding out Britt gets up and stands in front of the girl, "Move over." Lizzie slides over on the bench of the booth. Britt lowers her voice so that only Lizzie can hear her; she even holds a menu up blocking their faces from her wife. "Lizzie, here is the deal if you want stay quiet and not talk; I mean I'd rather you talk, but you don't have to. We meaning our family and I say our because you are a part of it, will never ask you to talk to us if you don't want to. But you have to trust us and let us take care of you, okay? Now do as I asked you before snixx over there comes out. She doesn't like when people hurt her family." Britt leaves the list and pen on the table and goes back to her seat.

Santana squeezes her wives leg when she sits down. Lizzie stares at the list. She glances up at the women across from her, but quickly looks down when they smile at her. A few minutes later Lizzie hands the list back to Britt. On the bottom of the list she sees the words THANK YOU written. Britt and Santana both look up at the girl and say you're welcome together.

It's now almost 5:30 and they have been to every store you could ever imagine. The SUV is packed with clothes, shoes and personal care items. It took them 15 minutes to pick out shampoo it was like Lizzie had no idea there was anything but head and shoulders, and the off brand at that.

Lizzie had at first picked out the cheapest of everything but by the end of the day she stopped and started picking out what she actually wanted. They are on their way home. Britt had already gotten a text from Quinn that they had started dinner for them and would be ready at six. Since they lived only a block apart they had keys to each other's house; but after Rachel had walked in on Santana going down on Britt on the sofa one Sunday afternoon, they always texted before using their keys.

Santana who was driving was about to pull out of the mall parking lot when Britt's phone goes off with a text message. It was from Lizzie, they had gotten her an I-phone 5 and had already programed in several numbers and explained who they were. Britt opens the text

**Can we go to toys-R-us so I can get the twins a gift if that's okay?**

Britt smiles, "Baby toys-R-us is calling Lizzie's name."

Santana laughs and looks at the girl who is bright red in the backseat, "Okay let's go."

At six the family pulls back up to the house and Lizzie slowly gets out. She can hear laughing and singing and splashing. She looks at Britt who smiles at her. "They must be in the pool and it sounds like Rachel is singing. She does that a lot." Lizzie smiles just a little and walks to the back of the SUV and starts pulling bags out and follows Santana and Brittney inside. They make it to her room.

Lizzie looks around the room for a minute when Santana comes to her side. "If it gets to be too much for you just come up here okay. Our friends are a little much to take in, but this room, it's yours okay? And tomorrow while Britt is at work, you and I will paint it and put your stuff away okay?"

Lizzie smiles, and takes her phone out sending a text to the woman next to her.

**I forgot the presents. Be right back. And thank you.**

Santana smiles as her.

Britt had already gone back downstairs to let her friends and the twins know they are back. Noah and Lucy were both so excited to finally meet Lizzie. All day Rachel and Quinn had to remind them that Lizzie will be tired and that she is in a new place and might be a little scared.

The adults had gotten the twins, Bella and Chance out of the pool and back into their clothes. They all sat around the dining room table when Lizzie walked in with two presents in her arms. After getting the gifts from the car she took them to her room to wrap them. She also wrote in each of their cards. She knew they couldn't read yet, but hoped that their moms would read it to them.

Lizzie stood there looking down at the floor. She was shaking with fear. Britt seeing this walked over slowly and whispered in her ear, "You don't have to talk. And if they are talking too much just wiggle your nose at me and I will make them be quiet." Britt looks at the girl, who finally looks up at the people around the table.

She walks over to the little blonde girl and sets the gift wrapped in pink paper in front of her, and then sets one wrapped in blue in front of the boy. Lizzie looks around and sees an empty seat next to Santana and takes it.

"Look Mama Izzie got me a present," Lucy squeals and before opening the gift gets up from her seat and jumps into the girls lap. "Thank you sissy. You my sissy now. I love you."

Lizzie not knowing what to do just nods, she looks up to Britt and has tears in her eyes. Britt sees the girl is overwhelmed, "Hey Lizzie would you mind helping me and Rachel out back at the BBQ."

Lucy jumps down and runs back to her seat so that Lizzie can stand and follow Britt outside. Santana watches them. Quinn looks over at Bella, who has not taken her eyes off of the girl. Quinn kicks her under the table. Bella who is sitting next to Lucy takes the card from the girl to read it to her, "To Lucy. I hope that you like what I got you. I hope that we can be great friends. You have to know that I can't wait to play with you and get to know you. Lizzie." Lucy rips open the paper to see a box full of art supplies. She smiles the biggest smile that Santana has ever seen.

Santana read Noah his card which said the same thing as Lucy's. He opened his gift to see a brand new lego set. The twins took their gifts to the living room to play, while Britt, Rachel and Lizzie finished grilling the chicken.

Santana looked over at her niece who was looking out the door at Lizzie. "Hey Bella, don't look at her like that okay? She is scared. Give her time and I'm sure you and her can be friends."

Bella looks down and mumbles something but no one could understand her.

"Bella, how many times have I told you not to mumble? It's rude. You have been in a mood all day. What is wrong with you?" Quinn says looking at her daughter.

Bella with tears in her eyes gets up and runs out the front door. Quinn looks over at Santana at a loss for words. "I'm sorry."

"Hey it's okay. Give her time Q. She will come around," Santana says as she gets up and walks into the living room to play with the twins. She sees that Bella is sitting on the swing on the front porch.

Out back Lizzie listened to Rachel go on and on about the school they owned. Britt was about to tell Rachel to can it, but looked at Lizzie and saw that she was interested and was nodding along to what she was saying. In fact, she heard Rachel's phone go off and listened at Rachel answered the question that she has sent.

When the chicken was done and the patio table was set by Quinn the familes sat down, with one exception; Bella. Rachel looked over to Quinn and ask, "Where is my Bell?"

Quinn explained. Everyone was listening and didn't see Lizzie get up and leave the table.

Out front Bella sit with her ear buds in. She had stopped crying and was now texting her friends about how her whole family was in love with this new girl, and she was all alone. She had be replaced. Bella, who is still dealing with the information that she is adopted just doesn't know how to now deal with this new girl in their life.

Lizzie opens the front door and sees Bella and sits down next to her, pulling out her own phone and sending a text:

**I'm sorry. I will leave in the morning. They were your family first.**

Bella opens the text and reads it. She looks over at Lizzie and sees the tears in her eyes. "You better not. Look, I'm going through a lot right now. But you leaving, running away from our family will just make things worse. Please don't leave. But, umm you better go back and eat." She stops when she gets another text:

**Only if you come too.**

Bella looks at the girl and smiles. "Can we hang out after dinner?" Lizzie just nods at her.

When dinner was done, the older girls played in the playroom with the twins till it was their bed time.

The adults sat on the back patio talking and it was decided, that Santana was going to take the rest of the school year off. It was less than a month, and her job would easily be covered. They also talked about Lizzie going to the school the next school year, the girl was behind on her coursework and was a full grade level behind what she should be.

They made the decision that they would let Lizzie make the choice, but she could go if she was able to get to grade level by the end of summer. They knew it would not be easy for the girl to do that, but Santana said it simply, "You can see it in her eyes, she wants to get better."


	3. Chapter 3

Every day is a battle. Some days the battle is easy to win, others you have to fight, fight tooth and nail. Some days it is not you who wins the battle. Some days it's a smile from a stranger; it's a hug from a loved one. Some days you don't want to fight, you don't want to fight for your life. You just want to see what happens. You might hope, or prey that it's your last day. That maybe, just maybe a car will hit you while you walk down the street. Or that maybe, you just will not wake up.

It's easy to get jealous of people who do not seem to have to battle every day. Those people who are lucky; those who have friends, family and support. Those people, they have it all. They don't know what it is to feel empty, completely and totally empty inside. To have your heart broken into so many pieces, you know it will never ever be whole again. To have your soul tied up so tight that it can't function, all your hope has been squeezed out. Some people are lucky and when they have no hope left, someone special comes along and gives them just a little ray of hope again.

Yes, every day is a battle. Some have it won the moment they wake up. Manny people don't think about how hard life can be. They don't think how hard life can be if you have no one. You have no support, not a single person in their army.

Lizzie used to be one of those people, a person with no ray of hope. No army behind her, next to her, in front of her. Not a single person to show her love, support or to care if she lost the battle. Lizzie lay in her new room and looks at the ceiling. For the first time in her entire life she feels hopeful. For the first time that she can remember she has not heard him all day. His voice has not haunted her; he has not appeared has not made her feel hopeless. Well, he hasn't till now.

Lizzie lay with tears falling from her eyes. She is trying to muffle her cries. But, the harder she tries the louder he is getting.

"You little bitch! You think they can help you. They can't, you are garbage and they will throw you out just like your clothes."

She closes her eyes. But, when she does she sees him. He is walking into her room. She lays in her bed, she is only 8. Lizzie knows what is going to happen so she opens her eyes.

"Yeah, you know I was about to fuck you for the first time. I know you liked it. You used to ask me for our special times, you little slut."

Lizzie gets up from the bed and starts walking around the room. She picks up her phone from her bed side table and looks at the time; two am. She fell asleep easy enough, she is so tired and the bed is the most comfortable thing she has ever laid on. Then about an hour ago, he showed up.

Lizzie goes into her bathroom and sees the giant bathtub and thinks maybe a nice bath will help her.

Down the hall Santana and Brittney had just finished making love to one another. When Britt got pregnant they got their room sound proofed so they never had to be quiet and could enjoy themselves. Britt checks the baby monitors for both of the twins and sees that they are both sound asleep. She rolls over and holds Santana from behind; their naked bodies pressed firmly together, their legs entwined.

"I love you baby," Santana mumbles as she drifts off to sleep.

"I love you more," Britt says back as she lets her eyes close.

About thirty minutes later the couple is awoken by crying twins. They both roll out of bed and put their clothes back on; Britt is the first to the door and when she opens it what she hears breaks her heart. They are both on the move at that point, both run down the hall and into Lizzie's room. They both search in a panic for the girl who is screaming for help. They hear the splash of water and bust into the bathroom.

Lizzie is thrashing around in the tub; it's almost as if someone is holding her under the water. Santana pulls her up from under water. The look in the girl's eyes scared her so much. It's like she is not even there. She is somewhere else. Somewhere that is scaring her.

"No, no you are wrong. They are going to help me," Lizzie yells out, pushing Santana's hands off of her.

Santana looks at Britt and calmly speaks to her wife who is crying watching the girl fight herself, "Honey, get the twins and take them to our bed. I got this." Britt nods and leaves the bathroom. Santana turns her attention back to the girl who again has her head below the water and is gasping for air. Santana puts her hands under the girls arms and pulls her up, this time to a standing position. "Lizzie, Lizzie look at me, it's Santana."

Lizzie looks at her and blinks a few times. She starts coughing and then is shivering. Santana takes her hand and helps her out of the tub. At this point it is apparent to Santana the girl has tried to commit many times. She sees scares, cuts new and old. Santana wraps a towel around her, trying to not focus on the scares but keep her eyes locked with the Lizzie's.

"Don't worry Lizzie, you are safe okay. He-he can't hurt you anymore. Not in this house." Santana gets Lizzie pajamas and hands them to the girl, she watches as Lizzie is too weak to even take them from her. "Okay, it's okay. Come on." She slowly walks the girl to the bed and gets her to sit down. "Lizzie, I'm going to help you put your clothes on okay?"

Lizzie who still has her eyes locked with Santana's nods her approval and understanding. Santana slowly gets the girl dressed in the shorts and tank top. She gets Lizzie to lay down in the bed. "I'm going to go make you some tea. Will you be okay here for a minute?" Lizzie looks at her with her eyes wide, begging Santana not to leave her. "I promise I will be right back okay?" At that Lizzie nods.

Santana leaves the door open a crack as she walks down the hall to her own bedroom and walks in to see Britt in the middle of the bed with Noah on her left and Lucy on her right, both sound asleep again. Britt has tears streaming down her face still. Santana sits down on the bed next to Noah and leans over him to kiss Britt on the cheek.

"Is-is she okay?" Britt hardly gets out.

Santana looks at her wife and is careful with her words, "No, but I think she will be. Honey, I'm going to stay with her tonight okay? You got these two?" Britt nods and connects their lips in a sweet kiss.

Lizzie looks at her phone and sees a text from Britt:

**No matter what, we love you Lizzie.**

She has never had anyone in her entire life say they love her. She reads the text over and over again. She looks up when Santana comes into the room.

"Sit up Lizzie. It's sleepy time tea and it should help you calm down okay?" Santana says handing her the mug. Santana then goes to the other side of the bed and gets it.

Lizzie looks over at her as if to ask what the woman is doing.

"Oh, I'm sleeping right here tonight. Trust me I know about nightmares. I used to have them too. I still do sometimes and I know sometimes all it takes is someone sleeping next to you, to fight them off. So, I will be right here, sleeping next to you and together we will battle this monster." Santana smiles at the girl who looks so small.

Lizzie smiles a little and takes a sip of her tea. Santana thinks that she must like it as she sinks further into the bed.

They sit together in the bed drinking tea and it is not long before they are both done and lay down. Both laying on their backs. Santana looks over at the girl who is starting to drift off to sleep. Santana watches her sleeping foster daughter. No that's not right, Lizzie is her daughter. There is just something about this girl, like they were meant to meet; Santana is meant to protect her. It's the same feeling she has for the twins and Britt, and her niece and nephew. But with Lizzie it's like someone has brought them together. She looks up and silently thanks Puck.

About 3 hours later Santana gets kicked. She opens her eyes and sees that Lizzie is having a nightmare. She knows enough to know not to wake the girl. Instead she talks to her. "Lizzie, it's Santana. I'm here. I'm going to help you battle this monster. Who is it? Who do I need to look for?"

Santana, who is sitting up, her back against the headboard, watches Lizzie's face and sees the pain.

"No. You can't help me. He will never leave me alone," Lizzie cries out in her sleep.

"Shhhh, don't you listen to him. I'm here and I'm going to fight with you, I'm fighting for you okay? You are special, you are amazing and kind and thoughtful. I saw you today playing with the twins. They love you so much Lizzie. Britt loves your smile when you show it, and she loves how you never ask if we need help with something you just jump in and help. All day you have done that. You helped with dinner and you helped Bella. Lizzie you are worth so much. And we are here and we are fighting by your side." Santana takes a breath as she wipes at the tears on her cheek. She looks over at the girl again who is now closer to her.

Santana lays back down and is surprised when Lizzie reaches over and takes her hand. Santana holds onto it, and feels Lizzie relax further.

Her alarm wakes her up. Britt looks down and sees that she not only has two children in her bed but they are both laying on top of her. She smiles, but then the reason her children are in her bed and not in their own comes flooding back to her. She reaches over turning off the alarm. Seven am. Today is going to be a long day.

The twins both sit up and roll off of her. Lucy looks at her and smiles, Noah on the other hand snuggles back into the bed. Britt smiles at Lucy and puts her finger up to her lips. "Let's let brother sleep some more and let's go start breakfast okay?"

"Okay mommy," Lucy says in her normal cheery voice.

Britt leaves the bedroom door open and walks down the hall with Lucy. She sees that Santana left Lizzie's door open and peaks in. What she sees puts a huge smile on her face. Lizzie is curled up next to Santana not touching but they are holding hands. Britt can tell as they don't have any covers on. Not unusual for Santana who always seems to be hot when she sleeps. Britt sees that Lizzie looks cold and is slightly shivering. She slowly and as quiet as she can walks in with Lucy on her heals. Together they pull the sheet up and cover both Santana and Lizzie. Britt leans over and kisses Lizzie's forehead and Lucy climbs on the bed to kiss her Mama. The two blondes go downstairs to make breakfast.

Santana opens her eyes and it takes her a moment to realize she is in the guest bedroom and why she is there. She looks over and sees that Lizzie is still peacefully sleeping. She notices that they are still holding hands. Santana doesn't want to let go of the girls hand but she to pee.

Santana gets up careful not to wake the girl and walks out the room and into her own bedroom. She looks at the clock and sees that it is already ten. Britt must have let them sleep in. She picks up her cell phone from the bed side table and sends a text to her wife knowing she is in class but will answer between classes. Britt teaches first grade at the school and also is a charge of the dance program.

**Hey baby. I miss you. Sorry we didn't get a good morning cuddle. Hope the twins were good this morning. Love you so much. Call me when you have a chance.**

She puts her phone back and goes through her morning routine. Forty five minutes later she is downstairs and sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of Cheerios when Lizzie comes down. Santana smiles at the girl.

"Good morning. You look well rested. You sleep okay?" Santana asks her. She looks at her and sees how much the better the girl looks. Lizzie nods and smiles at her. "Okay well, there are like ten different kinds of cereal in the pantry take your pick. There is coffee made and juice in the fridge. Help yourself."

Santana goes back to eating. A few minutes later Lizzie sits down with her own bowl of Cheerios and cup of coffee. They eat not saying much. When they are done Lizzie takes her bowl and Santana's and rinses them and putting them in the dishwasher.

At noon Santana and Lizzie are in her room painting the wall behind the bed a soft purple color. It matches the bedding Lizzie picked out. They have music playing and are dancing around. Throughout the day Santana has not said anything about the night before and doesn't plan on it. She however, did pick up an extra baby monitor and explained to Lizzie how they can't hear her from their room. She also told Lizzie how she doesn't have to turn it on if she didn't want to.

The first thing Lizzie did when they got back to the house was to set it up. She smiled at Santana not wanting to tell her how much it meant to her to have someone look after her.

Britt looks up from the paper work on her desk when Rachel and Quinn walk in.

"Hey B, we got you a coffee. You look like you could use it," Quinn says as she hands over the large coffee.

"Thanks Q. It was a long night. We woke up at about two thirty to Lizzie having a nightmare in the bathtub," Britt pauses and looks down. "And no we don't know why she was in the bath tub. Guys, you should have seen how scared she was."

Britt stops her story when her phone rings. She looks at it and sees it's her wife, "Hi baby. How's your day?" She pauses listening to her wife. "That's great babe. How's she doing?" Another pause as she nods along and smiles. "Okay, so you girls will get the twins. Perfect. I love you. See you in a few hours."

Britt hangs up the phone and looks over at her friends. "They are having a good day; they are painting the wall behind Lizzie's bed."

Rachel and Quinn smile at her. They talk and eat their lunches together. Britt tells them more about the night before and her fears for the girl. Quinn tells Britt how Bella would not stop talking about Lizzie this morning on the way to school.

The friends part when the lunch time is almost over. Quinn heads to the writers room, Britt to the dance hall and Rachel to the acting hall. Britt sees Mercedes in the hall and they speak a little about how to handle Santana being gone with the children. It is decided that Mercedes will just double up her classes and everything will be fine, it is only a month and the students are working on their original songs for their finals.

At two in the afternoon Santana and Lizzie pull up to the twin's daycare. Santana looks over at the girl and smiles. They have had a good day; Santana even got Lizzie to work on school work for about thirty minutes before they needed to leave. Before getting out of the car Santana looks over and Lizzie, "They may ask you about last night. Britt said they were really scared for you. Just be prepared, okay?" Lizzie nods at her.

They walk into the twins classroom and when Lucy sees her she goes running across the room and hugs the girls legs. Lizzie picked up the little girl and held her close. Lucy snuggled into her chest just like she does to her mothers and Aunties. Lucy pulled out just enough to look at Lizzie, "We make the monsters go away okay?"

Lizzie smiled at the little girl and set her down when Noah came running over. Lizzie picked him up and gave him a hug to. He wiggled to be put down and as soon as his feet hit the floor he grabbed her hand and looked up at her, "Come on big sissy."

Lizzie followed him over to the art area where he proudly gave her a picture he had made. He explained that it was their family, and pointed out everyone. Some of them Lizzie had not meet yet. And in the middle of it all it pointed to a certain mark much like the others and said that was her.

Santana who had been talking to the twins teacher walked over, "Okay, you guys ready to go."

"Honey, I'm home," Britt said as she walked through the front door. No one replied. She walked into the kitchen but didn't see anyone. She looked out back but still no one. After checking all the rooms downstairs she went upstairs. Half way up she hears the music coming from Lizzie room and hears them all laughing. She walks into the room and picks up Lucy who is the closest to her and spins her around.

"Mommy, mommy we are putting up pictures," Noah proudly announces walking over to hug his mommy. Britt puts Lucy down and hugs Noah. She then looks around the room and sees framed pictures of all their family. Most of whom Lizzie has not met, many of them don't even know about her either.

She looks over to Santana. "It was Lucy's idea. She said that family protects you, so we should hang our family in Lizzie's room to protect her," Santana says looking over at Lizzie who was smiling brightly.

"This is amazing. Hey Lizzie, you know what we need to take a picture of all of us together. Hold on a second," Britt says and then runs out of the room. She is back in a few minutes with the camera.

Santana sets it up as Britt helps to get the twins to hold still. A few seconds later the picture is taken. It is printed and placed in a frame, the big one above the fireplace in the living room, the one where the family Christmas picture goes.

Sometimes your world can change by a simple gesture. Sometimes all it takes is a smile from a stranger, someone to hold your hand while you sleep, a shoulder to cry on or an angel from above. Some days are easy, others are hard. Sometimes all you want is to die, but in that moment, the moment that picture was taken Elizabeth Brown found her reason for living, her reason for battling her demons. She has a home, she has a family.

"Oh, stop you little slut. You think you would get rid of me that easy. These people, these pictures they can't protect you. No one can because you, you are worthless. Your parents are the lucky ones; they never had to deal with you and all your issues. And now, you are going to ruin these people's lives just like you ruined mine."


	4. Chapter 4

Life is strange in that sometimes one change in your life can create an avalanche of changes. One thing leads to another and then another until you can't recognize yourself or your life anymore. Those changes can be negative or positive. Sometimes we don't notice the changes. They are so small, like maybe you go an hour without saying anything because you're mad or hurt. And that hour turns into two and then it's a day, a week, and a month and then before you knows it, it's been a year, or even over a year.

Elizabeth Brown still remembers the last word she said, "Stop." It was screamed. It was screamed as her god-father pushed a needle full of drugs into her arm, while his buddies held her arm down. That was 18 months ago to the day. Lizzie knows, because it was the anniversary of her parent's deaths. May 10th. That day her god-father wanted to cheer her up, so after having sex with her and watching as three of his friends did the same, he got her drunk and now was getting her high. That was the first time he had shot her up.

Lizzie now sits in the waiting room to a new therapist. Santana had called her old one and within a few seconds she knew she would not be taking her daughter back there again. Lizzie has been living with the Lopez-Pierce family for three days, today Wednesday being the fourth. Her parents are in with the therapist right now talking about the care for Lizzie.

Lizzie's phone goes off with a text message from Bella:

**Can't wait for you to come over for dinner tonight, the twins are driving me crazy. Not to mention my parents. I'm starting therapy tomorrow and they keep going on and on about how proud they are of me for going.**

Lizzie smiles to herself, _"I miss her too. I've never missed anyone before."_ Lizzie is about to text her back when her foster parents come out.

"Ok Lizzie the doctor wants to have the first session right now, are you okay with that?" Britt asks as she walks closer to her daughter. Lizzie nods and sends a quick text before walking into the room.

Bella who is laying on the living room floor with Lucy and Noah coloring looks at the new text from Lizzie:

**I can't wait. Gtg, time for therapy :/**

Bella smiles a little, not wanting her mothers to know how much Lizzie and her have been texting, which is a lot. Between every class and during lunch it's all Bella does. She also doesn't want her mothers to know that she has a major crush on Lizzie. It's kinda odd because they are kinda cousins now, right?

"Bella, you think Lizzie will like this?" Lucy asks looking up at her cousin.

"Yes I do," Bella says looking at the page full of pink and purple marks.

Noah looks over at both of them and then smiles as Chance who is enjoying some tummy time on the floor with his sister and cousins grabs at Noah's paper, "Chance you wants to color too?"

Chance continues grabbing at the paper, Rachel walks in and sees her son grabbing at it, "Hey guys, should we let Chance play too?"

The three others smile and nod, Rachel picks up the baby and moves him toward his color mat where he can push paint around inside the mat. Chance smiles and starts pushing the paint around.

Rachel then pulls out her own sheet of paper to color on and sits down with the kids. She starts drawling a picture for her wife who is taking a nap.

"Hey mom R?" Bella asks looking over at her mom.

"Yeah Bells," Rachel asks looking at the girl who looks scared.

"I'm worried about tomorrow. I don't like talking to people I don't know."

"It will be fine honey. I will be in the waiting room, and like we told you if you hate it then you don't have to go back, okay?"

Bella looks over at her and smiles. Rachel leans over and hugs her daughter.

Meanwhile back at the therapist office Lizzie stands and walks toward the open door. The closer she gets the harder it is to walk. She knows her hands are shaking and she feels like she is about to pass out. As she gets closer to her foster mothers Lizzie's head sinks lower as she doesn't want them to see how scared she really is.

Britt opens her arms for her daughter and makes sure the girl falls into them. Britt holds the girl close not saying anything but passing her own positive energy to the girl. Britt keeps the girl in the hug until Lizzie stops shaking as bad as she was. Before completely pulling away Britt leans closer to Lizzie's ear, "Just do what you're ready for, you don't have to talk until you are ready. We love you."

Lizzie looks into Britt's eyes and smiles before she continues her walk into the office. Right before Lizzie closes the door she looks out to her foster mothers and smiles and they smile back.

Britt and Santana sit down and wait for Lizzie. They are exhausted from their own meeting with the therapist. The therapist asked them what things they thought were important to address first. Both of the woman said they want Lizzie to be comfortable with who she is and to have goals of her own. The therapist Doc Tom has he wished to be called, had told the women that it would take time.

Inside the room Lizzie takes a seat on the couch and looks across at the Hawaiian man with dark hair balding on the top slightly but cut long in the back and brought into a pony tail. Lizzie smiles inwards looking at his large lips that makes her think of her mother's friend and co-owner of the school Sam. This doctor also has fish lips.

The doctor gets up and walks over to a tall cabinet and takes out two white boards and some markers. He writes on one : Hi I'm Doc Tom. He then hands the other board to Lizzie and sits down across from her. The man studies the girl in front of him who does seem to know what to do or how to take this therapist.

Doc Tom smiles at the girl and erases his first message and writes again: we are going to do things differently here. I don't talk until you are ready. Until then we will use these boards.

Lizzie reads his message and looks at the man; still not sure how to take him, again she doesn't move to write anything. The Doc nods at her and writes another message: Today is about us coming up with a plan. What do you want to get out of this?

Lizzie studies him again but this time picks up her marker and starts to write. After just a few seconds she holds it up: to stop hurting.

Doc Tom nods at her and starts writing: Why are you hurting?

Lizzie looks at the board in his hands and reads it over and over again. _"How do I answer that? I don't know why I'm hurting, I just always have been."_ She looks down at her board and starts to write: I just always have.

Out in the waiting room Santana is pacing back and forth across the small room. Britt has tried to keep her calm but has not been successful at all.

"San please come sit down, honey she is fine okay," Britt says to her wife. Santana looks over at her and is about to let a snarky remark come out but then sees the worry in her wives eyes. Santana comes and sits next to her wife taking her hand in her own.

Just as Santana is about to say something the door opens and Doc Tom walks out and over to the two of them, "Can you two join us please."

A few minutes later the two women and sitting on either side of their daughter listening to the doc talk about what he thinks they can get done in therapy, as well as what the three can do at home.

Doc Tom explains how this will take time and not to force things. Everything needs to be at a pace that Lizzie is okay with. He asks Lizzie to write in a journal every day, and it's up to her if she shares it with him or her foster mothers.

A few minutes into the car ride to the Fabray-Berry house Lizzie sends a text to Bella:

**On the way can't wait to see you**

It doesn't take long for Bella to reply:

**I can't wait, I drew you a picture with the twins.**

Lizzie gets a goofy grin on her face, Santana who is driving sees it, "Lizzie you okay after all that?"

Lizzie nods. _"God, I want to say thank you to them. I want to thank them for standing by me, for taking me to a new therapist, one who although not normal he seems to be what I need. Do I do it, do I say something? Am I ready?"_

Before she knows it they are at the Fabray-Berry house and she opens her mouth, "Thanks." She looks up and sees that her foster mothers are already out of the car and waiting for her. They didn't hear it.

Lizzie jumps out of the car and runs up to the porch to her foster mothers before they ring the bell, "Thank you." Lizzie yells as she gets close enough to them to wrap her arms around both of them. The couple wraps their arms around their daughter. It may have only been two words, but those two words meant so many more. Lizzie didn't need to say all the words, those two words and the hug itself said it all.

All three pull out of the hug and look at each other. Lizzie smiles at them and rings the doorbell as she can't wait to see Bella and the twins. A few seconds later the door opens and there stands the three people she has been waiting to see.

"Izzie. Izzie I miss you," Lucy says as she reaches her hands up to be picked up by her sister. Lizzie complies and picks up the young girl.

Lizzie hugs the girl and wants to tell her how much she missed her too, but just can't find the words.

Noah who flew into Santana's arms leans over and kisses Lizzie cheek. Lizzie smiles at the boy and kisses his cheek back.

This is all so new for the girl. It's new to be loved, to be wanted, to be missed and cared about. It's also so new for her to want to show people that she cares about them; in fact it's new for her to care. Doc Tom asked her why she is hurting. She couldn't answer him, not yet. Lizzie doesn't know how not to hurt, it's all she has ever known. But in this moment surrounded by love she can't help but have hope, hope that one day she will not hurt all the time. She thinks that the hurt will never go away, it's always going to be in the back of her mind; but she has hope that it will dull.

"Hey guys, dinner is almost ready come on it," Rachel says from the door.

It doesn't take long before both families are sitting around the dining room table eating. Rachel had made pasta, a family favorite. Throughout dinner the four women at the table notice how the two teens keep stealing glances at the other. They also take note of how the girls blush when they realize they have been caught by the other. When dinner is over, Bella wants to show Lizzie her room so the two teens go upstairs.

During the meal Lizzie didn't say anything. Brittney and Santana know it may be another few weeks before the girl says something else.

The two couples move to the living room with the twins and Chance and settle in to watch a Disney movie and relax before the Lopez-Peirce family head home.

Bella and Lizzie enter a room that is painted a light bubble gum pink with dark wood furniture. Bella sits down on her bed and leans against the headboard. Lizzie walks around the room looking at the pictures. Many of them of the girl with her mother and her uncles and aunties, many of whom she has heard stories about. This weekend she is going to meet many of them as her foster mothers are going to have a pool party and many of them are coming.

Lizzie turns and looks at the girl, the girl she wants to open up to, the girl she wants to tell her deepest secrets to. Bella pats the bed wanting the girl to come sit by her.

Lizzie does she sits slowly and about a foot away. Bella sends the girl a text:

**Hi**

Lizzie smiles at her phone and then up at the girl that is slowly stealing her heart. Instead of picking up her phone to text the girl back she finally lets the girl hear her voice, "Hey."

Bella is shocked that the scared girl she meet just a few days ago is speaking to her, or spoke as it was just a single word.

Lizzie opens her mouth again and words just start to spill out, words she has never said before, "Bella, I'm scared. I'm scared of everything that is happening. I'm scared that I want to talk again. I'm scared that I will say the wrong thing and you and my foster parents will leave. I'm scared that I'm too hurt, too hurt for anyone to really care about me. I'm scared of it all. I'm scared of the look on your face right now." Lizzie lets her face fall into her hands as she starts crying, crying harder than Bella has ever seen anyone cry before.

Bella moves closer to the girl and wraps her arms around her; she leans in close and whispers in her ear, "I'm not going anywhere. I care too much about you, you are special Lizzie and I'm going to spend the rest of our lives showing you how much I care."

The girls stay in the embrace for a few minutes, when Lizzie pulls out she speaks again, "Please don't tell anyone yet." Bella nods at her. The two talk some more but this time through their text messages. They talk mostly about school and Lizzie admits she wants to go to the same school as Bella in the fall; Bella said she would come over and help her with her work all summer.

At about nine o'clock Britt yawns as she snuggles in more to her wife. The movie is over and the two couples are snuggled up together and watch as their children are sound asleep on the floor.

Santana throws a piece of popcorn at Quinn who is sound asleep in her wives arms. Rachel shoots Santana a look for waking up her wife.

"We need to talk," Santana says trying to keep her voice down. The three other women look over at her and Rachel motions toward the kitchen.

The four women sit down and look at each other and Santana starts, "What are we going to do about the crush between those two?"

"I don't think we do anything," Quinn says with a smile. "We can just be there for them. I trust Bella, and I can see the two of you trust Lizzie."

Britt looks at her wife who looks like she is about to go off. "I trust them both too. Yes, we may need to talk to them at some point, but for right now, I think Quinn is right. We let them figure it out."

Santana still is not happy but smiles just a little, "Yeah, I trust them both. It is kinda odd though right? They are basically cousins. Shouldn't we talk to them about it; I mean are we all okay with them dating each other, that's where this is leading."

"Okay stop," Rachel says raising her voice. "One they are not dating yet, two they are not related and three the four of us have no right to get in the way of anything. How many of us at this table had something with Finn, Sam, Puck?"

The other three women look down. They stop when they see the two girls they were talking about come down the stairs holding hands.

"HI," Lizzie says with a smile on her face.

The four women smile at her. Bella smiles at Lizzie before calling out the four most important people in her life for talking about them, but before she can say anything, Lizzie beats her to it, "You said we had to leave at nine and it's nine, you guys ready?"

When the Lopez- Pierce family gets home, the older women take the twins to bed and Lizzie starts some sleepy-time tea. It does really seem to help the girl calm down enough to sleep at night. A few minutes later, Brittney comes down stairs and gives the girl a pill.

"I know you don't want to take them, but we think its best you do. It's a low dosage; you may not even feel the effects for weeks. It's up to you," Brittney says as she sets the anti-anxiety pill down on the counter. "You never know, this pill may be magic. It maybe the thing that brings all your awesomeness out, it could be how you let your unicorn show, or bicorn, whatever."

Lizzie looks at Brittney and then the pill. Foster home after foster home have forced her to take these. They make her feel even emptier then she already does. She stares at the pill. She looks up at her foster mother again and smiles as she picks up the small pill and swallows it. "I want to get better; I want to be a unicorn like you and if you think it will help, I'm willing to try."

"I'm a bicorn sweetheart," Britt says as she leans in and kisses the girl on the cheek. "Have a good night. Love you Lizzie."

Changes come and go, but they all start with something. Sometimes that something is big, other times it's so small you don't even realize there was a change. Today, in this moment, Lizzie feels the change. She sees the rainbow; she sees the pot of gold at the other end. She knows that this will not be easy; she knows that things will be hard. But instead of a step forward and two steps back, the last four days it has been two steps forward and one step back.

**A/N:** I know I have put an author's note on any of the chapters, but I wanted to for this chapter. I know this chapter is a little bit of a filler chapter, but this story is really hard for me to write. It's something that means a lot to me. Please let me know if there is anything you guys want to see and I will try to work it in. Also, you can follow me on twitter if you want StephTurtle14 is me.


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone has hard days. Many people have issues, some people may judge them, and some may say that one person feels more pain than another. But really, who has the right to judge someone else's pain. Two people may both try to end their lives at the same moment. One may have friends and family who reach out and try to help them and the other may have no one. One person may have friends on twitter who trend their support for them, while the other has nothing.

It's just the way the world is, life is not fair. It's not fair at all. People are funny, seeing someone get the support they dream of, it can shatter them. To see someone else get support from strangers whereas they get nothing at all, can push them over the edge even more.

Being on the brink of suicide is scary. You don't think like yourself, act like yourself. You forget how to care; you forget what matters in life. For some people, it's calm. Finally, you feel like you are almost free, free from all the pain that surrounds you.

Lizzie sits on her bed and writes in her journal. The words are just flowing out like she can't believe. She has never been one to like or want to write, but there is something about this that makes it easy, to get it out.

Lizzie looks down at her phone as she sets her journal and pen on the bedside table. She opens the twitter app and scrolls through her timeline. She follows a bunch of people who all love this show "Pretty Little Liars", Bella is one of them. She reads tweet after tweet about this one girl who tweeted that she was going to kill herself. She frowns at this and when she sees the next tweet one from Bella something inside her snaps. Bella was also helping to trend support for this girl. It was like a stab in the back, her Bella, her Bella reaching out to care for someone else.

Lizzie closes the app and just sits there, _"God I'm being so dumb. This girl needs help, she tweeted that and people are coming together to help her, so why, why am I so upset." _She thinks to herself and she stands up from the bed and starts pacing back and forth.

She goes into her bathroom and starts opening every cabinet looking for a way out. She is so sick of her life. Of being an outsider, of never getting the support she so desperately wants and needs. _"I need to stop this. This is so dumb, why am I letting some trend on Twitter upset me so much. I don't even talk to that girl."_

Lizzie sits down on the cold tile and lets her face fall into her hands for the second time that night as she lets the emotion come over her and she starts to cry. She jumps when Britt walks in.

"Lizzie, honey what wrong?" Britt says as she sits next to the crying girl. She wraps her arms around the girl, "It's okay honey you're safe."

Britt just holds her. She holds her daughter close, whatever Lizzie was feeling she wants to make it go away. She knows it's not that easy, but she has to find a way to keep this girl in her arms safe. She looks around the bathroom and sees every cabinet open, "Lizzie, Lizzie did you want to hurt yourself?" Britt asks with tears in her eyes.

Lizzie just nods and hides her face further into her foster mother, "I'm sorry."

"Come on," Britt stands up and takes the girls hands pulling her into the bedroom. Britt motions for the girl to lay down on the bed and Britt climbs in behind her. "I know things are not easy but you are going to be okay. I love you sweet girl, and so does Santana and Lucy and Noah and we we would miss you so much."

Lizzie turns and looks at her foster mother, "I'm sorry."

"Hush, time to sleep now, I don't know about you but I like to cuddle. Are you okay cuddling with me?" Britt asks looking at the girl who is now a huge part of their family and their life.

Lizzie doesn't say anything but rolls onto her side and reaches out to pull Britt's arm across her.

Bella wakes up extra early in the morning. Today is the day that she starts therapy. She is scared, more scared than she has ever been. She rolls over and grabs her phone wanting to check on her twitter friend who wanted to kill herself the night before. She opens the app and scrolls through the feed and sees that her friend did try but is okay. She then finds Lizzie's profile and trolls her page a little.

She sees the last tweet from her friend: Why don't I ever fit in? I'm done.

Bella feels her chest tighten as she looks at the time and sees that it's the same time she was trying to trend support for her other friend. She feels the pain knowing that her own tweets must have hurt her Lizzie.

She closes Lizzie's profile and opens her own; she looks at her name on her profile and sees that it still is calling her other friend a hero. How, could she do this to Lizzie? To forget that many people struggle, how could so many people make such a big deal over one person? She changes her name back to Little Liar Bella and closes the app.

She is about to put her phone down when she gets a text message from Lizzie:

**Your Auntie B is so weird sometimes, but I love her.**

Bella smiles and sends a text back:

**Yeah she is full of awesomeness.**

Lizzie gets Bella's text and smiles; she puts her phone down and flips the pancakes. She got up when she heard Brittney's alarm go off on her phone and wanted to do something nice so she is making breakfast for her family.

Santana comes down the stairs with the twins right behind her, "Something smells amazing." Santana walks into the kitchen and picks up a piece of bacon, "Quinn would love you this is some amazing bacon."

"I want bacon," Lucy says pulling on Santana's shorts.

Santana takes another piece and hands it to the little girl. Lucy smiles as the salty and smoky pork hits her taste buds. Just like her god-mother Lucy loves her bacon.

Not long after Lizzie finishes the pancakes and brings the stack as well as the bacon, sausages and scrambled eggs to the table.

The family of five sit down together and start to eat. After a few minutes Britt looks over at Lizzie and smiles, "So, Lizzie any plans for today? You know Santana has her first therapy session this morning; I was thinking that you could come to school with me and check out the school. I have this feeling you will be attending it next year."

Lizzie looks down and then back up at Britt and shakes her head no. She smiles at the blonde women and opens her mouth to talk but has trouble finding the words.

Santana looks over at the girl and then her wife before speaking, "Lizzie you have two choices, either come with me and wait in the waiting room, or go with Britt. I'm sorry but we don't trust you to stay home alone after last night."

Lizzie puts her head down and is trying to calm herself down when Santana speaks again, "I'm sorry but we care too much about you to let you stay here alone with the opportunity to try again."

Lizzie stands up from the table making her chair fall backwards, "I wasn't going to okay! I was going to do school work. But I see I can't be trusted, so what's the point. Just send me back to Barb, I know you want to." Lizzie turns and runs up the stairs.

Noah and Lucy both watch as she runs off. The twins look at each other.

"Izzie mad," Lucy says as she looks over at her Momma.

"Yeah she is baby," Santana says looking over at her wife. "You guys eat your food okay, mommy and I are going to go talk in the living room?"

Santana stands up as does Brittney and they walk into the living room and sit down. They are about to start talking when Lizzie comes back downstairs with her backpack packed. She looks at her foster mothers and sends Santana a text:

**I will be waiting on the porch. I'm going with you.**

Lizzie then walks out the house and slams the door.

The rest of the day is full of slamming doors and silence. The Lopez-Pierce house has become a battle ground. Santana is in the kitchen cooking waiting for her wife and the twins to get home. Lizzie is in her room, where she has spent most of her day. The girl has not replied to any text messages she has gotten, even from Bella.

The doorbell rings and Santana turns the stove off and takes the pan off the heat and walks over to the door and sees that it's her niece.

"Hey, Bells you okay?" Santana asks as she sees the tears in the girl's eyes.

"Is Lizzie here? I need to talk to her," Bella asks looking around but not seeing the broken girl she dreams about.

"She is, she is up in her room. Bella you're welcome to go try and talk to her, but she is pissed still," Santana says opening the door more to allow her in.

Bella steps into the house, "Auntie Tana can I talk to you out back before I go upstairs?"

"Sure, but first do your mothers know you are here?" San asks raising her eyebrows at the girl.

Bella nods and starts walking for the backdoor Santana follows.

Upstairs Lizzie has been busy all day doing homework. Yeah, she is mad and upset, but she doesn't really know why. Her foster mothers were just looking out for her and she knows that trust has to be earned. _"I was doing so well, and I let some trend on twitter do this to me. That girl needed that, she needed that support. I don't need that kind of support. I have two amazing foster mothers, the twins, Bella, and her moms. Which is way more than I have ever had. So why am I sitting up here and throwing it all away?" _

Lizzie looks down at her work. She has gotten over a weeks worth of work done today. From sitting on the porch this morning, to sitting in the waiting room and now locking herself in her room and ignoring everyone has kinda paid off. _"Maybe if I get caught up they will trust me."_

Bella and Santana are sitting at the patio table. Bella has been telling Santana about the trend on twitter and how she feels that may have been what made Lizzie panic like that.

"You might be right Bells but at the end of the day whatever it is the only thing that matters is she is okay now. Or at least I think she is. You see Auntie Britt and I get an e-mail every time she submits any work for school. Today, she has submitted a lot of work," Santana says while looking out at her backyard. "Bella, let's talk about you, how are you? You had your first therapy session today right?"

"Therapy was good. Doc Tom is kinda odd, but I like him. He asked me if I wanted to meet my birth parents, and," Bella pauses and looks down. Santana reaches across the table and takes her hand, "I told him I would but they are both dead." A few tears fall from her eyes and she wipes them with her other.

"Bella, it's okay to be upset you can never meet them. It's okay to want to know things about them, and I'm 100% positive your mothers agree," Santana says as she studies her niece's face and sees the same zoned out look Rachel had all those years ago when she found out about Shelby. "Bella, you know in high school I was not nice to your mom R right?"

"Yeah, I know. But I also know your not that person anymore. I know that you did those things because you wanted to fit in, and didn't want anyone to know you really are a sweetheart," Bella says smirking at her Auntie.

"Yeah, your right about all of that. I have seen Rachel in a lot of pain over the years, some of it because of what I said or did. But, the day your mom told us about Shelby, all I saw was a girl even more broken then I felt at the time. I see that same look in your eyes now. Bella, it's okay not to be okay. It's okay to be scared and angry but what's not okay is to hold it all in. I'm proud of you Bells for going today, I hope you keep going," Santana stops when she hears the back door open.

"Is this a private party or can I join?" Britt says as she walks out back.

"Hi Auntie B, can I go see if Lizzie wants to talk now?" Bella asks as she stands up.

"She is in the play room with the twins. She came downstairs when the twins slide pictures under her door," Britt says with a huge smile, proud of her children for being able to cheer up the girl. "Oh, your moms should be here soon, you guys are staying for dinner."

Britt and Santana watch as Bella enters the house.

Britt sits down in her wife lap and leans in and kisses her softly, Santana grabs the back of her neck deepening the kiss. Santana breaks the kiss after a few minutes of intense kissing.

"I missed you today. Our teenager has been in a mood all day," Santana says leaning her head against Britt's chest.

"I'm sorry baby. But I want to talk about you, how was your therapy?" Britt asks and then kisses the top of her head.

"It was, it was really hard. But, I'm glad I went and I'm going to keep going once a week for a while. I also, think that you and I should go together to Doc Tom like he talked about. Parenting Lizzie is going to be hard on us. Are you okay with that?" Santana says looking up at her wife.

"Yes baby, I think that's a great idea. You know baby, you are doing a great job with everything, but you don't have to do it all on your own. I'm here love," Britt says leaning her forehead against her wives.

"I know babe," Santana says before leaning in to kiss her again.

"Get a room," Quinn yells as she walks out the back door.

"Hi Lucy Q," Santana says from her wives lap.

"Everything okay here now?" Quinn says taking a seat on the patio with the girls.

"Yeah, we still need to talk to Lizzie and settle things from this morning, but I think we are okay now," Britt says. "Our unicorn just needed to fly on her own for a day, but now she is back with her family."

In the playroom Lizzie, Bella and the twins are playing cops.

"Okay so everyone have their missions?" Bella asks.

"Yeah, we go shoot momma and mommy and aunties," Lucy yells standing at a military attention with her hands behind her back.

"We ready," Noah says standing next to his sister.

The older girls standing in front of the twins motion for them to follow them. Bella staying close to the wall in the playroom waits till they are all in a line, Noah behind her, then Lucy with Lizzie bringing up the back. Bella peaks around the corner being able to see in the living room and sees that it's clear.

Lizzie reaches forward and taps Bella, Bella turns and looks at her, Lizzie points to Chance who is happily playing on the floor. Bella steps away from the wall and quickly grabs the baby carrier from the diaper bag and puts it on, Lizzie puts Chance in on Bella's back.

Now with the baby in on the mission Bella takes her place again, and peaks around the corner. With their squirt guns in hand the start moving slowly down the hall. They stop at the corner, all they have to do walk around the corner and they can be seen from the kitchen and out on the patio. This is the risky part of the mission.

Bella looks back at Lizzie and the twins and nods, Lizzie again grabs Bella arm but this time leans in to whisper in her ear, "let me go first, protect the baby."

With that Bella runs across the room and ducks behind the couch. She peaks around the corner of it and sees Rachel looking into the room like she heard something, but then she turns and walks out to the back yard.

What the teens and toddlers don't know is the grown up who have been listening in from the baby monitor in the play room are set up for the attack. They have their own water guns and water balloons ready to go.

"Lizzie made it to behind the couch. Bella has Chance on her back so be careful not to get my baby boy," Rachel reports back as she sits in her chair at the patio table. She grabs her water gun from Quinn and holds it under the table like the others, they each also have a bucket of balloons at the ready.

The teens and wins have now made it to the kitchen. "Okay this is it, charge on three," Bella whispers to the others. She holds up her fingers, one, two, three.

"Go, go, go" all four yell together, Chance babbling along on his sisters back.

As soon as the hit the cement of the back patio they know they are in for it, as they are hit with the spray of water. Not from a water gun, but from the hose in Santana's hand.

Bella runs around the corner of the house to protect her brother. The twins run to the swing set and climb up to the top where there is a fort. Lizzie stands there not sure what to do, she has never been in a water war. She looks at Santana, and Santana stops for just a second seeing the fear in her eyes.

"Lizzie get back here," Bella yells. Lizzie takes off running back to the other girl.

Rachel and Quinn run toward the swing set. Quinn starts to climb up the slide as Rachel takes the stairs. The teens hear the twins yelling out for help as they are being hit with spray from their aunties.

Bella and Lizzie share a look, Lizzie takes off running towards the swing set. Bella and Chance takes off to steal some water balloons. Britt and Santana have gone missing. Bella grabs a bucket and starts throwing hitting her blonde mother in the back. She gets closer and hands some to Lizzie. They both throw until Rach and Quinn and soaking wet.

"San, Britt we need help!" Quinn yells out. "Unholy trinity sticks together, we are you."

Everyone stops when Bella lets out a shriek; Britt and Santana have come up from behind to capture the baby. "You can't have him, he is our secret weapon." Bella yells out. But knowing if she fights it to much he could get hurt she lets her aunties take him.

Britt gets the baby, and runs back to the patio where they set up his playpin. She gets him to safety and runs back toward the fight.

Rachel and Quinn are on the ground now, and the teens have made it up to the twins.

The four get quiet, waiting for the adults to make a move. Noah is the first to speak, "I the man, I attack like Uncle Puck." The mohawked boy doesn't wait for an answer as he slides down shooting his water gun.

The water fight keeps going until all the guns are empty and the balloons gone. The adults decided to order pizza, as they all lay in the back yard drying from the water war.

Lizzie looks around her with a huge smile on her face. She knows her life is not perfect, but this is close.

Everyone has a different kind of pain. It is not fair to say one person is more or less than another. We are all different. Some peoples pain is brought to light, they find support from a trend online. They are called a hero, and others suffer in silence. A lot of people don't understand what it's like to never feel loved. Even when they know they are, when they know they have a person in their lives who care about them, sometimes that doesn't matter.

The first step to feeling loved, starts with loving yourself. When you hate yourself, you find a way to take every nice thing someone says and make it negative. Someone says that you have nice eyes, can turn into but an ugly face in their mind. Someone saying that they are kind or caring can turn into I'm a push over I don't know how to defend myself.

When you hate yourself, nothing else matters. You push people away because that is the only way to make sure no one starts to care about you, you are not worth anyone caring about you, loving you, wanting to be around you. These people, people like Lizzie battle with themselves every day. They want to be loved, they want people to say nice things about them, they just don't know how to accept them.

Lizzie looks up to the blue sky above as she listens to her family sings songs. She looks over to her foster mothers and smiles at them as they are sharing a chair and kiss when they think no one is looking. Lizzie is starting to see herself in a different light. She sees that she is important, that she matters to them. Noah reaches over and holds her hand not saying anything, she squeezes his little hand.

Lizzie will be okay, she took a step back and she know there will be more in that direction, but she has support. That night before going to sleep she pulls up her twitter app and sends a tweet to the girl who had a trend in her honor, "I don't know you, but you are strong and you deserve so much in life."


	6. Chapter 6

When you feel like you want to make changes in your life, you have to want them for the right reasons. If you want to change, you have to do it for you, not for other people. Sure they may be part of the reason and even what keeps you going, but at the end of the day you have to want to make the changes.

It's hard to look in the mirror when you don't like things about yourself, and I'm not talking about the physical here. When you can look in the mirror and see all the bad choices you have made, when you can see everything that has shaped who you are and what you see makes you want to break the mirror. It's hard to see the kind of person you really are.

Lizzie stands looking in the mirror in her bathroom. Her foster mothers sent her up here to clean up the mess she made two nights before. It's Friday night and she is spending it cleaning her bathroom. A bathroom in which has everything torn from the cabinets, it's a mess. She has been avoiding it, not wanting to have to deal with the physical mess she left, and definitely not the emotional mess.

Last night was amazing; the water war was the most fun Lizzie has ever had in her entire life. Today she has spent the day working on her school work at the kitchen table, while Santana made list after list of all the things that need to be done before to pool party on Sunday. When Britt and the twins got home and Britt saw that Santana had not made Lizzie clean her bathroom yet, Britt marched her up the stairs and told her, "Don't come back down stairs till this is done."

That was an hour ago. An hour and Lizzie has done nothing but stand and look in the mirror. A light knock on the door takes her out of her battle with the mirror and what she sees.

"Lizzie," Britt says slowly. She saw how zoned out her daughter looked and didn't want to scare her. "Honey, you okay?" Britt moves closer to her and puts her hand on her back softly.

"I-I-I," Lizzie gets out before she starts crying uncontrollably. She falls to her knees and starts rocking back and forth. Britt is by her side in a matter of seconds, she just holds her daughter close to her chest and rocks with her, saying soothing words to try and calm her down.

They rock like that for a few minutes until Britt starts to sing to her, the same song she still sings to the twins when they are upset, "Catch a falling star and put in your pocket, never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put in your pocket, save it for a rainy day."

Lizzie stops crying as hard as she was and now is just slightly crying, Britt still holds her tight as she keeps singing, "Catch a falling star and put in your pocket, never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put in your pocket, save it for a rainy day."

Lizzie looks up at her foster mother and starts singing quietly with her, "catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day."

Three more voices, those of Santana and the twins join them, "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day."

Noah who is standing behind Lizzie wraps his little arms around her, "I love you big sissy."

Lizzie who is still being held by Britt smiles at her foster brother, "I love you too Noah, and you too Lucy."

Lucy comes up besides the three who are hugging and wraps her even smaller arms then her brother around her big sister.

Santana pulls out her cell phone and takes a picture before kneeling behind Britt and wrapping them all in her arms.

"Okay, okay this unicorn can't breathe," Britt gasps out as the four others have her surrounded. The family all starts laughing.

Soon the family of five has stopped laughing and has gone downstairs to eat dinner. During dinner Lizzie is quiet and keeps her head down. When she is done eating she asks to leave the table, her mothers let her do so in hopes that Lizzie will go up and clean her bathroom without being asked to do so.

About an hour after Lizzie had gone upstairs, Brittney and Santana are putting the twins in bed. As usual, Santana is singing to Noah while Britt reads to Lucy. Once finished they switch, and when both of the twins are asleep they meet back in the kitchen to clean up. Tonight when they get downstairs the dinner dishes are already cleaned and Lizzie is on her hands and knees with a bucket of soapy water and is scrubbing the floor by hand. On the kitchen table are the lists of things that need to be done for the party.

Lizzie who has her ear buds in doesn't hear her foster mothers walking in. Britt tries to get her attention and places her hand on her shoulder. "Crap, you scared me," Lizzie says as she flinches away from the hand on her shoulder.

"Lizzie, honey take a break and come into the living room and talk with us okay?" Britt asks, looking lovingly at her daughter.

Lizzie nods and stands up and washes her hands before coming into the living room and sitting in the large armchair which is across from where her foster mothers sit on the couch. She keeps her eyes on her hands which she has sitting in her lap.

"Okay, Lizzie we want to talk to you about what happened the other night. We are neither mad nor upset, we just want to know how you are feeling, what you were feeling that night," Santana starts.

Lizzie keeps her eyes on her hands as she starts to try and talk, but the words are stuck again. She feels like she did on Sunday when she first walked in this house, the words she so desperately wants to say are stuck somewhere deep inside. She swallows the lump in her throat down again. Lizzie opens her mouth again and this time words escape, "I felt a-a-alone." Lizzie wipes quickly at the tears that have started falling from her eyes. "I-I was scared," she gets up before the tears overtake her and she is crying as hard as she did earlier in the bathroom.

Britt moves to stand up and go comfort her daughter but Santana places a hand on her thigh telling her to stay put. Britt looks at her wife as if to say, "are you crazy she needs us." Before Santana can communicate back to her wife, their daughter is speaking again.

"I-I l-l-love being here and I love you guys. I had a bad moment, I made a mistake. I'm sorry," Lizzie says through her cries and finally looks up at her mothers. Santana slowly stands and walks over and sits on the arm of the chair and opens her arms for her daughter to fall into.

Britt watches from across the room with a small smile on her face. She knows deep down they are doing an amazing thing for Lizzie, but things will still be hard for a while. They need to keep being loving and caring parents while also holding Lizzie to standards that she is just not used to.

Santana kisses the top of Lizzie's head, "Okay, I have an idea. How about we turn some music on and we dance, sing and get some of this cleaning done? What do you two say? The three of us can mostly likely get half the cleaning list done in the next hour."

Lizzie smiles up at Santana, "Okay, but no old lady music."

Britt stands up from the couch and takes a step toward her wife and daughter before she stops with her feet apart one hand on her hip and with the other pointing at her wife, "I wanna dance." Britt starts dancing around just like she was back in her first senior year in the choir room, "Clock strikes upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade. Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away. I've done all right up 'till now, it's the light of day that shows me how. And when the night falls, my lonely heart calls."

Britt reaches her hands out to her wife, who takes them and gets up to dance around the room joining her wife in song, "Oh, I wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody. Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me."

Britt lets go of Santana's hands and grabs Lizzie pulling her up to dance as well, now all three are up dancing and singing. Britt points to Lizzie to take the next part and the young girl does without skipping a beat, "I've been in love and lost my senses, spinning through the town. Sooner or later the fever ends, and I wind up feeling down. I need a woman who'll take a chance, on a love that burns hot enough to last."

Lizzie turns bright red as she realizes she sang woman and not man. Her mothers smile at her, and then two new voices enter the room. The twins in their PJs and matching yellow duck slippers have joined the dance party. Now the family of five is singing and dancing together.

They finish the song and are all smiles. "Can we play dance party?" Noah says excitedly knowing that once his mothers get started re-living their glee glory days it's hard to get them to stop.

Britt and Santana share a look before Britt speaks, "Yes, we can but only if we all work on cleaning. I'm going to put the music on a timer and when it turns off, all of us have to go to bed."

Noah and Lucy clap. The couple is lucky that their children don't mind cleaning as long as the couple makes it fun. Britt turns on the Pandora station on their Blu-ray and sets the TV timer for one hour, while Santana gives out jobs. The twins and Lizzie will work the kitchen floor while Britt and Santana work on the living room and play room.

Lizzie and the twins have a great system worked out. Lizzie scrubs the grout lines between the large tiles, Lucy scrubs the tiles themselves and Noah dries it all. Lizzie takes a moment to look around at her family. "Her family," she has never thought as anyone as her family except for these people. Her brother and sister are both working hard and having fun while wiggling their little butts to the music. Lizzie looks over to the living room where Santana is vacuuming the couch also swaying her butt to the music, and then she hears Britt in the playroom singing as loud as possible to the current song which Lizzie doesn't know.

She has noticed that her mothers listen to almost every genre of music, she asked Santana about it the car the other day and all she replied was, "it's all Shues fault." Lizzie doesn't know who this Shue is, but she has heard both Britt and Santana mention him/her, Lizzie isn't sure.

She looks back at her siblings and smiles. _"I'm happy, I'm happy here. I need to keep working to get better because these people, these people are worth it."_

Before the family of five knows it, the music stops and they are all sent up to bed. The coupe has no trouble getting the twins to fall asleep, as they are tired after their cleaning dance party.

Lizzie sits on her bed her sleep clothes already on she is smiling as she writes in her journal about her day. Her thoughts are flowing, tears streaming. Lizzie hates that when she writes she tends to cry, but there is something about seeing the words, her feelings in front of her that always bring her to tears. Tonight, they are happy tears, tears of belonging, tears of acceptance, tears of love. To be apart of a family is new to her, it's something that she is going to have to get used to.

A light knock on the door has Lizzie quickly wiping at her tears. "Hey, we just wanted to say goodnight," Britt says as she enters the room followed by Santana. Both women sit down on the bed on either side of their daughter. Lizzie smiles at them and closes her journal.

"Tonight was fun," Lizzie says smiling. "But really, what is with some of the lame music you guys listen to?"

"It's all Shue's fault," Santana says rolling her eyes at the thought of her former Glee teacher.

"Okay, who or what is a Shue?" Lizzie asks raising her eyebrow much like Santana does.

Britt smiles brightly, the thought that their daughter wants to know more about them warming her heart. "Shue or Mr. Schuester was our high school Glee teacher. Every week we would have a different lesson and we would sing songs and dance. The best were the competitions. We, we are a family."

"Yeah, Mr. Butt Chin was like that creepy Uncle who thinks that they are the best thing in your life," Santana says smiling. "But, really Shue, he besides Ms. Holiday was the best teacher I've ever had. I hope I'm like a mix of both of them."

The couple shares a sweet smile thinking back to their glory days of high school.

"So did you guys like have a name or something? Like your group?" Lizzie asks.

"New Directions," Britt starts. "You will get to meet many of them on Sunday."

"So, umm were you guys good?" Lizzie asks.

"Hell yes we were. National champs senior year!" Santana says proudly raising her fist into the air.

Britt rolls her eyes a little at her wife who is gleeking out, "well, Santana senior year and my first senior year."

"Wait, so you failed your senior year?" Lizzie asks.

Britt and Santana share a look and Santana decides to answer. They want to be honest with Lizzie about anything and everything, "Yeah she did. It was my fault. Well, partly my fault." Santana takes a moment to regain her thoughts, "You see I always knew I was in love with Britt, but it took me till Sophomore year to tell her, but she was dating Artie at the time. By the start of Senior year, we were dating but I was scared so we hide it. Or better, I hide who I was. I was scared, so scared and angry. Angry that I couldn't accept who I was, am." Santana eyebrows squeeze together and she shakes that thought away. "I was mean, cruel to a lot of people," Santana looks down at that, still ashamed of the person she wants was.

"Wait, were you mean to Britt?" Lizzie asks.

Britt quickly answers wanting Santana not to be too hard on herself, "She was a little, but I always knew that when she did she hated herself. Lots of people didn't get me in high school. They didn't understand who I was, how my brain worked. Santana did. She got me to run for president and I won. So to answer you, she was mean at times, but I was mean to her too. I had hurt Santana when I turned her down of Artie. Santana has always been the most caring person in my life, and one of the few people who have always accepted me for me."

"You two are cute," Lizzie says smiling.

"Thanks, but like I was saying I was mean to people. Finn, who was like co-caption or whatever was like my main target; and it was me being mean to him that lead to Britt's second senior year. He more than anyone in the school disrespected Britt; it was little things he did, said. Well, he finally had enough and outed me in the hall way. To keep this story short, the wrong people heard and soon there was a commercial about it."

"Wait, hold up. A commercial?" Lizzie almost yells.

Santana looks right at Lizzie and smiles a little, "Yeah, it's a long story, longer than what we have time for tonight but yes. After all of that, I became almost glad that it happened because I could be out and proud. It was stressful, my abuela hated me. She still does, she will not come to family functions if I will be there, but I will never hide who I am again. Britt, became more worried about making sure I was taking care of myself to do any homework. You see, we used to do homework together, even when we were not together. Senior year, our study time turned into Britt cheering me up time. She failed and had to re-do senior year. Well until MIT begged her to come in the middle of her second senior year."

"So did you too stay together when you were away at school?" Lizzie asks.

"Now, that is a story for another day," Britt says looking down after, still ashamed that she didn't fight for Santana back then. Britt leans over and kisses the top of Lizzie's head, "Just know we will tell you anything you want to know about us, you just have to ask okay?"

Lizzie nods and smiles as Santana also kisses the top of her head.

As Santana gets close to the door she smirks at Lizzie, "I need a woman who'll take a chance, on a love that burns hot enough to last."

Lizzie turns bright red and Britt slaps Santana's arm before trying to comfort her daughter, "Lizzie it's encouraged in this house to be who you are. Unicorn or bicorn or just a regular horse, it doesn't matter to us, but honey you don't have to hide who you are. Just know when you are ready; we are here to talk to. Love you, night."

Britt leaves the door open a crack as the couple walks to their room. They enter and Santana closes the door and is giving her wife those come and get it eyes. Santana lets her eyes wonder over her wife. All she wants right now is to make love to her wife. To the one person who has always forgave her for all the hurt, the one person who always stands by her side.

Changes have to happen in our lives. Change is good, even when it feels horrible while it happens. Sure some changes are bad, but some changes are the best thing that has ever happened to us. We may fight the changes, we may fight against the need to get better. We hate the people who push us to change. They might point out to us that we are doing something that is hurtful to ourselves or someone we cares about.

We might be hiding who we are, cutting our own skin, trying to drown our hurt with alcohol or drugs. We may push everyone away, we might yell and scream and cry. But at the end of the day, those who make us see that we need to change become the most important people in our lives. We become forever grateful that they saw through the crap and saw the person we want to be.

Lizzie has found those people, her family. For Santana she has three people who are those people, those people who showed her she needed to stop hiding. She will always hate Finn for what he did, but she will always be grateful that he forced her to come to terms with the fact she was hurting Britt. She will never call Finn a friend, for he hurt her, Britt, Rachel and Quinn. Everyone who is important in her life have been hurt by him. Santana also has Ms. Holiday to thank as well. She made it okay to be who she is, if it was not for her, she still maybe that scared girl.

Finally she has her Brittney. Santana and Brittney, Santitney, Brittana, best friends, wives. Santana knows that Britt is the biggest reason why Santana changed. She knows without a fraction of a second had one thing been different in high school they would not be here today, laying in each others arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** First off sorry for the late update. I'm back in school so I'm trying to focus on that. For those of you who don't know, I'm writing this story for me, to help me deal with some of the things in my life. Lizzie's issues have a lot of similarities to what I'm going through or have gone through. I also hope this story helps some people understand mental illness a little better. This chapter in particular is one I hope explains a lot of details and I hope people take something out of it. I also want to note, I'm by no means an expert, I'm just going on my feelings from going through some of this. I hope you all enjoy and by the way I love reviews

**I DO NOT OWN GLEE. **

Chapter 7:

Looking. They are looking. They are looking at me. Is my hair okay? Is there something in my teeth? They know. They know about the cuts. They see the scares on my arms, on my legs. They know I was raped. They know I hate myself. They just know.

Stop. They are not looking at you. Your hair is fine; there is nothing in your teeth. They don't know about the cutting. If they see the scares why should you care? There is no way they know what he did to you. They don't know anything about you.

They do. They can see it, they can feel it. They know I'm horrible, they know I'm scum. They are judging me. Am I really that bad that strangers judge me?

You are none of those things. Calm down Lizzie, calm down before you have a panic attack.

Oh god, what if I have a panic attack, right now in the party store. Santana and Brittney will see. They will kick me out. And the twins, it will scare them. I can't do this. I can't stay here in this place; there are too many people here. I'm not safe, I'm on display. They are judging me. All the eyes are on me.

Calm down. You are starting to sweat.

Calm down! Calm down! How can I calm down when they are all looking at me! That lady just smiled at me. She can see I'm not okay. She smiled to try and cheer me up, she knows something is wrong.

No she smiled because she is a nice person, now calm down. Look at your hands they are shaking now. Calm down.

No, no she smiled because she knows. She knows I'm freaking out. What the hell was that? Someone is trying to rape me.

No one is tying to rape you, someone just ran into you because there are so many people in this store. Chill out, Lizzie.

There are people everywhere; they are all looking at me. They are judging me.

A comforting hand on her shoulder shakes out Lizzie out of her inward panic. She looks up to see soft blue eyes looking at her, "Here you are. Come on honey, we are ready to check out," her foster mother says and starts to walk toward the check out counter.

Walk Lizzie. Move your feet, follow her.

I can't. I can't move. I can't. If I go now they will see the panic. They will judge me.

No they will not. Britt just looked you in your eyes and didn't see anything but her daughter. Now walk.

No shut up. I can't walk. I can't breath. They are all looking at me, they all know. They all know everything, they see it all. I can't do this, get me out of here. How do I get out?

Calm down.

STOP TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN.

"Baby I thought you said you found Lizzie?" Santana asks as she unloads the plates and cups from the cart to be checked out.

"Yea she was right behind me," Britt says looking back toward the aisle she last saw her daughter. "Maybe she just went to wait outside. I'm sure of it."

The couple continues checking out while also trying to entertain the twins. It doesn't take long for the couple to walk out of the party store and out to the parking lot area. They still don't see Lizzie.

"Okay, where is she? We have a ton to do and don't have time to deal with this. Britt text her and tell her to get her a-s-s here right now or she can walk her a-s-s home," Santana says as they walk toward their car.

Britt nods and sends a quick text to her teenage daughter: Lizzie we are at the car. Need to go to the grocery store now. Come on.

The couple loads the car but still no sign nor text from Lizzie. Santana who is in the driver's seat looks over at Britt who is visibly nervous. "Britt I'm sure she is fine. Maybe she walked over to the ice cream shop or something?"

Britt just nods.

"Okay, I'm gonna go look for her. You stay here and text me if she shows up, okay?" Santana says before leaning over and kissing her wife briefly.

What do I do? Where do I go? Everything is spinning. Where did Brittney and Santana go? I'm alone. They left me. I know they would. I'm no good. I'm no good at all. I have made their lives horrible. I tore their bathroom up. They spent all that money on me.

Lizzie stop. You are okay. You are in the store. Now just get your legs to move and walk outside.

I can't. I can't

Lizzie feels her legs start to give out as her whole world is spinning just like the thoughts in her head. She is trying so hard to fight her bad thoughts. The thoughts that she has so very often. The last thing she sees is the white and black tiles of the floor as she falls.

Her panic attack had gotten so bad she had stopped breathing, she had been standing ridged for too long and her legs gave out.

"OH MY GOD!" Santana yells as she sees her daughter on the floor of the party store with people all around her. "Lizzie, honey you okay? What happened? Someone tell me what happened?" Santana yells out as she rushes to her daughters side.

An older man replies first, "I just looked over and she fell."

The other people standing around are moved out of the way as the manger comes to see if he can assist in any way. "Hi I'm Phil the manger. Is she your daughter?" Santana nods as she puts Lizzies head in her lap. Lizzie is now awake and blinking to try and clear her head.

"Honey, you okay? Are you dizzy or anything?" Santana asks.

Lizzie just looks at her and shakes her head no.

Santana gets Lizzie up and out to the car. Santana sees that same lost and scared look in the girls eyes she saw on Sunday.

Britt visibly sees in Santana's eyes now is not the time to talk about what happen. The couples ability to read each other has always been an area of pride for them and today is no different. Before too long they are home, forgetting the rest of their errands for the day.

As soon as the SUV is parked Lizzie is out of the it and inside the house. Santana and Britt look at each other and know they need back up.

"I'll call," Britt says. Santana gets the twins into the house. The twins who could tell something was just not okay went to the playroom and started playing.

It doesn't take long for the Fabray-Berry family to arrive. The adults all sit around the living room while Bella heads right to Lizzie's room.

"Lizzie," Bella says as she knocks on the door. No answer comes. "Lizzie, it's Bella let me in please." Still nothing, Bella slides down the door to sit on the floor after trying for a few minutes. Bella pulls out her phone and text the girl that she is sure she will be with for the rest of their lives. She knows its kinda dumb to think like that as they have never kissed, nor does Bella know if Lizzie is gay or bi or straight.

Downstairs Santana explains what happen in the store, "I walked in and saw a crowd of people, in the middle Lizzie was rolled into the fetal position shaking. A man said he looked over and she fell. I don't know if she hit or head or is hurt. She will not talk."

A tear falls down Britt cheek, "What do we do?"

Quinn and Rachel look at each other as if to say "Do you know?"

They all sit in silence for a few minutes until Bella comes back down the stairs.

"She will not open the door, or answer texts. I know she has her phone as I can hear it. I'm worried Auntie Tana. Do you have a key to open her door?" Bella says as she stands nervously at the foot of the stairs.

Santana goes to stand up but Britt ups her hand on her leg. "Okay, here is the plan. Quinn you take Santana and the twins to get the food. Rachel and I will take the baby and go get the music and stuff we need from the school. Bella, you stay here with her. I will go up right now and tell Lizzie what is going on. I will be right back." Britt stands and walks to the kitchen to get the tool that will open the door and then is up the stairs.

"Momma B doesn't mess around does she?" Rachel asks, watching her friend do something they don't see her do much which is take charge.

Since getting back to the house Lizzie has been laying face down on her bed. She is almost asleep when she hears another knock on the door. She just wants to be alone, but yet she doesn't want to be alone either. Her whole life she has had these panic attacks. She doesn't know why, and its something she really wants to talk to her therapist about.

Today was scary for her, but the worst part is always after an attack. No one ever understands. No one gets how hard it is to not listen to her bad thoughts. No one gets how hard it is to ignore her internal struggle and to not listen to the thought she knows are so very wrong.

"Lizzie you need to open this door so I can make sure you don't need to go to the hospital. If you don't Lizzie I will be opening it and if I have to do that, you will lose your entire door for a month," Britt says with the most serious voice she has ever used.

Lizzie rolls onto her back but doesn't get up.

"Lizzie door now!" Britt says again her voice getting louder.

Finally Lizzie gets to her feet and opens the door and as soon as she does she is back on her bed face down.

Britt enters the room and is not here to comfort her daughter. Britt is mad. She is mad as her daughter has scared her, her wife and the twins.

"Roll over and look at me. You don't get to disappear, faint, scare all of us to death and then play victim. Now roll over," Britt says as she sits next to Lizzie on the bed.

Lizzie rolls on to her back. Britt looks over her face and see that Lizzie has a red mark with some bruising under her right eye. She reaches out to touch it and Lizzie rolls away quickly.

"What the fuck? Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me!" Lizzie yells as she lets her body sink to the floor in the corner between her bed and wall.

"Lizzie, I'm not going to hurt you. You have a bruise under your eye from when you fell I just want to make sure your check is not broken," Britt says as she starts to walk toward the girl. Lizzie holds her legs close to her body and hides her face in her legs. "Okay. I will not touch you." Britt sits on the floor in front of her. "Lizzie this is what is going to happen. We are going to go run the rest of the errands. Bella is going to stay here with you just to make sure you are okay. I will have her bring up some ice. But listen to me; you were fine before we left. I don't know what happened, but after dinner Santana, you and I are going to sit down and talk this out." With that Britt gets up and walks out of the room.

Britt doesn't talk to Santana, Rachel or Quinn when she comes downstairs. But she does call Bella into the kitchen.

"Is she okay Auntie B?" Bella asks.

"To be honest I have no idea what is wrong with her. She flipped out on me upstairs. She has a bruise under her eye. Take her an ice pack. Sit with her if you want, but please don't force her to talk unless she wants to. She needs to think about her actions today. Disappearing from us, not answering our texts and now not talking again is not okay!"

Bella just nods and goes to walk upstairs.

Bella enters Lizzie's room and sees that Lizzie is still curled up in the corner of her room. "Lizzie Britt gave me this to give to you." Bella says walking toward the girl with the ice pack in her hand. Lizzie takes it and puts in on her eye which is throbbing.

Bella lays on the bed but doesn't say anything.

Lizzie looks over at her.

Why is she here? Why is she looking at me like that? What the fuck is her issue?

This time Lizzie again doesn't try to fight her thoughts like she did with Britt. "Bella stop looking at me like that!"

"What are you talking about Lizzie?" Bella asked confused as to why Lizzie is yelling at her.

"Get the fuck out of here. I know I'm scum I don't need you to judge me!" Lizzie yells.

"What are you talking about? I don't think you are scum. No one knows what even happened. Lizzie I think your amazing," Bella says sitting up and looking at Lizzie.

"Amazing! Amazing how can I be amazing when I yelled at Britt. When I was so caught up in my own thoughts I ignored my foster moms. I scared the twins. How am I amazing?" Lizzie says.

She thinks your scum Lizzie. Look at the way she is looking at you. You hurt her Aunties and cousins. She will forever hate you. She will forever hate you because you are not strong enough.

Bella gets up from the bed and sits next to Lizzie and tries to take her hand but Lizzie jumps to her feet before either of them know what is going on, "get the fuck out. Get out! I don't want someone who is going to judge me like this in my room, in my life. You know what if I get kicked out I don't give two shits. Get the fuck out."

To be continued….

A/N: Okay a few things. I know cliffhanger. Don't worry since I have put myself on a twitter and kik timeout I should have time to update again this weekend.

I know this chapter is really kinda all over the place. I want it that way. Things will become more clear as to what happened in the next chapter to two chapters.

Like I said before sorry for the late update, summer term is over in just over a week, but then I go on vacation for ten days. So yeah I know not much time to write.

Anyways, I love to get reviews so please do so. And again, I'm sorry if this chapter is not clear. Please let me know what is not clear to you so I make sure to bring those things to light.


	8. Chapter 8

What happens when we go through a trauma at a young age? Can we ever be okay after the event or events? Can we ever not be a victim? In our minds, and in the minds of others will be always be a victim? Some people are able to move on. They are able to somehow become a stronger person, but not all.

Some of these young victims will never be okay again. They may have days, weeks, months or even years where they are okay. They are happy, they don't think about what happened to them. But it comes back.

Lizzie never thought of herself as a victim until Britt said she was acting like one. Now, she is stuck on it. She is a victim. Her parents died while she was young, the person who was trusted to care for her took her innocence away. He took the one thing that every girl should have full control over. Lizzie doesn't know what it is like to be nervous about sex. She has had a lot of it and she is only 14. Of those times, not once was she nervous about the other person seeing her naked body or soul. Every time her soul was not there. Until just a few days ago Lizzie was not sure she had one.

Britt was right she was acting like a victim, because the fact is she is one. Lizzie has been victimized time and time again. How do you move on from something like that?

Brittney and Rachel walk in the front door about an hour after leaving. Brittney who is the first through the door stops quickly, her mouth falling slightly open at seeing her niece on her couch ice pack on her lip and tissues all around her as she lies on the couch. Tears are still streaming down her face.

Rachel runs into Brittney's back but then hears her daughters cries, "Oh my god Bells, what happened?" Rachel rushed to her side.

Brittney stays still in her place in front of the door. She can't move, she is scared if she moves what she is thinking happened will have happened.

"I-I-I was t-t-talking to L-Lizzie and and she told me to leave her alone, and I-I-I did b-but I went back up a few m-m-min-minutes ago and she yelled more and sh-sh-she s-sl-slapped me. C-c-can we go?" Bella hardly get up between her sobs.

Brittney who still had not moved an inch finally breaks her trance. Her heart breaking that the girl who they brought into their home had done something like that. She is so confused and scared. She is scared for her daughter, scared for the twins, her niece, and her wife. Brittney without saying a word walks up the stairs.

She stops outside the closed bedroom door. Inside she hears a crash, she tries the door and its locked. She knocks on the door, "Lizzie open this door right now!"

No reply comes from inside except another crash. "Open this door!"

Again nothing from inside. Britt is not on the move, she sprits down to the kitchen to grab the key tool to open the door, she is going so fast she doesn't even notice that Santana, Quinn and the twins have just walked in the house. Nor does she hear her wife telling her to wait.

As soon as Britt gets back to the door and gets it open she flies into Momma B mode. She needs to protect her family. She sees Lizzie standing in the corner of her room, several holes in the wall, her fists bloody. Britt moves as quick as she can, coming behind her daughter and wrapping her tight in her arms.

"Don't touch me! Let me go! I will fuck you up," Lizzie yells out.

"Oh hell no. Britt get out of here," Santana says as she gets into the room after sending the twins with Rachel and Quinn.

Britt doesn't move just holds the girl in her arms tighter.

"Let me go! You fucking bitch let me go!" Lizzie yells out again as she fights against the women who is slightly shorter than her, but much stronger.

Britt pushes Lizzie up against the wall and leans all her weight into her so she can speak, "Lizzie I will let you go if you calm down." She says this in a low and steady tone.

Lizzie pushes back against Britt, but is not strong enough to move her. The years of drug use has made Lizzie very weak even though she has been sober for a year now.

Santana gets stands in the doorway not know what to do.

"Calm down and I will let you go," Britt again says to the girl. This time Lizzie starts to shake as tears overwhelm her. Britt tightens her hold even more and moves her daughter to her bed where she slowly turns her and get her to sit.

Santana slowly walks into the room and kneels in front of the girl who has her bloody hands covering her face trying to hide from her foster mothers. Santana slowly reaches out and places a hand on Lizzie's knee. "Honey, let me look at your hands please?"

Lizzie's sobs get worse. Hearing Santana call her honey after all that she has done that day. From the moment Lizzie woke up this morning she has been nothing but a horrible person. At breakfast she refused to help clean the table. In the car on the way to the store she ignored her foster siblings. At the store before her panic attack she got mad and told Santana she was a bitch in front of the twins all because Santana said Lizzie could not get these cool purple plates with hearts on them for the party. After she called Santana she walked away. Both her foster mothers had texted her a few times asking where she was, she ignored them. And now she has hit Bella, destroyed her room and called Britt a bitch.

Britt sits on the bed next to the girl but doesn't touch her, "Lizzie, I'm going to look at your hands okay?" Lizzie nods a little and lets Britt takes her hands down from her face. Santana gets up from the floor as she sees Lizzie has blood all over her face, unsure if its all from her hands or if she somehow cut her face Santana wants to make sure.

Britt lightly touches the girls knuckles her years as a dancer has made her very good at all things first aide related. She is pretty much sure nothing is broken, but does want to go get x-rays just to make sure. Lizzie's right hand is very swollen and bruised already while her left hand is not to bad.

Santana comes back and wipes her daughters face please to see there are no cuts, she then hands the cloth to her wife to wipe Lizzie's hands. The women look at each other as they see how deep one of the cuts on Lizzie's hand is. She is going to need stiches for sure.

With a silent conformation the decision for Britt to take her while Santana stays home to clean up is made.

At the Fabray-Berry house things are not much calmer. Quinn is ready to head back to her best friend's house and beat the crap out of the 14 year old girl who hit her Bella. Rachel is trying to comfort her daughter, keep her wife calm and try to make sure the twins and her son are okay.

"I just can't believe she did that. I hope to god they send her away now! If they don't I just don't know if I can go over there again," Quinn says while pacing the living room.

Rachel, who is sitting on the couch with a sleeping Bella's head in her lap, opens her mouth to speak but stops when her cell phone rings. Rachel looks at Quinn who comes to take her place as Bella's pillow. With the exchange a well-practiced maneuver Rachel is up and walks to the backyard to answer the call.

"Hello," Rachel says as she gets outside.

"Hey Rach it's Santana. I just wanted to call and see how Bella is?" Santana asks on the other side of the phone call.

"She has a black eye already and is asleep on the couch."

"I'm so sorry this happened. We don't even know what really happened yet, but we are working to get an answer."

"I understand. How is Lizzie?"

"At the ER with Britt she punched her bedroom walls several times. She at least needs stiches and we are hoping her hand is not broken," Santana sighs. "I have no idea what happened. Last night she was happy, it's like she woke up today a different person. It's like something came over this morning. I'm so scared for her."

"I am too. You have to know we love her, but Quinn is really upset right now. Are we still having the BBQ tomorrow?" Rachel asks, she doesn't think having it is such a good idea but maybe not having it would be worse at this point.

"I'm not sure yet. Britt and I need to talk. Hey can the twins stay with you guys tonight?"

"Of course."

"Okay well I need to get back to cleaning this up and taking Lizzie's door off her room, as well as any and all electronics she has. We will come over in the morning to get the twins."

"Okay love you."

Rachel walks back in and sees that Bella is awake and is crying again.

Bella looks at her mother and cries out, "I-is she o-o-okay?"

Rachel takes a seat on the couch and faces her wife and daughter, "Lizzie is at the ER with Britt right now. I guess she punched a bunch of holes in her wall. That's all we know, Santana asked if the twins can stay here tonight and they will talk to us and fill us in on everything tomorrow."

Finally at almost midnight, Britt and Lizzie walk in. Santana is sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hey, I ordered pizza let me heat it up and then we can all talk," Santana says as she stands to kiss her wife hello and sees the large purple cast on Lizzie's right hand.

Once the pizza has been eaten the three stay at the dinning table to talk about all that happened that day.

Britt starts, "Okay, well first off Lizzie I want you to know we love you. Nothing you did today will change that. However, we are disappointed in the choices you made and you are going to have to live with them."

Lizzie who keeps her head down nods, since leaving for the ER she has gone back to not talking.

"Lizzie, here is the deal, until you choose to talk to us about why you acted the way you did today we are all going to sit here," Santana says.

The three sit not saying anything for ten minutes, those ten minutes turn into thirty and thirty turns into an hour.

Lizzie finally looks up at her foster mothers who are looking right at her, searching for answers. She opens her mouth and words find their way out, "I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?" Britt asks.

"Everything," Lizzie starts. "I'm scared I will disappoint you guys. I'm scared you guys will throw me out. I'm scared you will see the real me and hate me. I'm scared of my thoughts. I'm scared I will never be okay and I will always be this victim." A tear slides down the girls cheek, followed by another and another.

"Lizzie I promise you, we are not going to throw you out," Santana says firmly. "Honey, do you feel like maybe we pushed you too much too soon, like it was too many changes at once?"

Lizzie nods.

"I want you to know we are proud of the changes you have already made, and I'm sorry we pushed so much," Britt says smiling a little at the girl. "But, what you did and the way you acted is not okay at all. Until further notice you lose all rights and privileges in this house. The means no phone, laptop except for school work, no i-pod, and no bedroom door."

Lezzie nods, "Okay. I-I-I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I want to explain, but I really just don't know how. I-I-I freaked out this morning thinking about meeting all these new people tomorrow. I don't want to let you guys down and go back into my shell, but I don't do good with new people."

Britt gets up from her seat next to Santana to move next to Lizzie, she pulls her daughter into her arms and holds her tight.

"Lizzie, the next time you feel like this you need to talk to us okay?" Santana asks.

"Yea, okay. I want to talk about it at therapy and deal with this. I know I made some huge mistakes today. I know it is going to take a long time to win our trust back, not to mention Bella's. I hope she talks to me again." Lizzie says with tears still flowing freely again.

"I understand that. We can cancel the BBQ tomorrow," Santana says.

"No please don't. Just know I might have to stay up in my room. I don't want to make people uncomfortable," Lizzie says.

"Okay, we will talk about it in the morning, but I think it's time we all go to bed," Britt says.

That night Lizzie lays in her bed. She is a victim but she has to find a way to fix it, to fix everything. The first thing she needs to do is to accept all that she has been through. She doesn't want to be one of those young victims who can't be okay.

She wants more than anything to get her friend back. Somehow, someway she needs to win that trust back that she broke. She doesn't know how to, or if she even can. By placing her hands on Bella was one thing, but the words she said is another. She is so scared that Bella will tell her mothers what she said. She is so ashamed that she let anger overtake her and she said three words, three words that are nowhere near true, three words that she is sure hurt worse than her fist on Bella's face. Those three words will haunt her until Bella forgives her. Fucking heartless bitch. Three words that have taken the best friend she has ever had.

Lizzie is not going to give up, not on herself not on her friendship with Bella. Lizzie is a fighter, a warrior. She will fix this that is if Bella and the other people she has hurt will let her.


End file.
